I feel part of myself clinging to old ways of doing and thinking, trying to keep hold of something familiar in the midst of all that is disappearing. At the same time I keep praying to be free, to be able to let go of that which has caged me my whole life.
In my prayer I am asking for Spirit to take away all my small, OCD thinking and doing that keeps me imprisoned in tension, caged with fear.
Spirit laughs, You have to let go. I can’t take it if you don’t let go. LET GO.
But, I’m afraid to let go. Isn’t it just my thinking, doing, serving that keeps me alive? Isn’t that my only value to others, to the world? If I let go, won’t I end up crazy, homeless, worthless?
So, you’re only valuable if you are thinking, doing, serving? Is that true?
I’m not sure of that anymore. In fact, I’m pretty sure that kind of thinking is what put me in the cage in the first place.
You are beloved to Me as you are. There is nothing you have to do to prove your worth. There is nothing you can do “out there” that will make you more beloved than you already are. STOP, LET GO, BE. If nothing else, it will be a novel experience for you. (more laughter)
I do have to admit this is funny. I want to be free of something that I am fiercely clinging to with every ounce of my waning strength.
Why do you think I am taking your strength, your ability to do, to move, to go out from YourSelf?
At this point, I have no words, only laughter.