On July 1^st I saw Dr. Shukla and Davis for a checkup on “my girls” as I like to call them. I was relieved to hear that everything looks as good on the X-rays as it feels in my body. Dr. Shukla pointed out that my bones have grown in more around the implants and said, “They are now a part of you.” How comforting to hear him say that! I told them all the things I can do now, and we celebrated with hugs. I thanked them for bringing me BACK. They asked me to return in 3-4 years for another checkup.

I was planning to post this in July, but then got sidetracked by a very busy schedule. I think, in hindsight, that I was meant to post this now. By mid-July, Reno was inundated with smoke from the wildfires in California and I could no longer walk and hike outdoors. Not wanting to lose the gains I’d made in leg strength, I returned to the gym at St. Mary’s Center for Health & Fitness. I had not worked out on the floor in seven years, which is an odd thing for an old gym rat and health club owner to say. I guess I’d come to associate the experience with a lot of pain due to my failing hips.

What a difference! I’ve really increased my leg, glute, back and arm strength by returning to the use of Precor weight machines and 20 minutes on an elliptical trainer. I also warm up and cool down on the walking track (5 minutes each). I’ve found my hiking/walking is easier, my standing stamina is improved, and I can grip and lift things with greater ease. I feel more powerful and balanced in my body, and my posture has improved. My chronic neck and shoulder pain is gone! I’ve also noticed improvements in my cardiovascular fitness. I don’t huff and puff as much hiking and I recover faster. The areas where I found I was weakest from not doing this work was my rear deltoids, quadricep, gluteal and low back muscles.

Now every week I try to swim 2 days for 40 minutes, workout in the gym 2 days for an hour, take a 3-4 mile walk or hike on 1 or 2 days, and practice yoga and mat Pilates on 1 or 2 days. I also continue my morning Qigong/Tai Chi practice and teach 3 classes a month.

I credit this routine with bringing me fully back from two total hip replacements and a third surgery to remove a cable from around my right femur. I can easily do everything I want to do now with ease. When I look back at how disabled I was 4 years ago, it feels like a miracle. I am so grateful!

It’s been two years since I had my left hip replaced. It feels like it’s time for an update. Looking back on the last year, I was surprised by the continued improvements in strength, endurance, energy, balance and flexibility. I’d thought I’d see all my healing by the end of the first year. So, I wanted all of you to know that there can still be ongoing healing and changes for more than a year after a THR.

I can now hike 3-4 miles regularly with ease, without setbacks and increased soreness and stiffness afterwards. I’ve been able to hike regularly with Scott again (and keep up). I can do trails I haven’t done in years. My yoga poses, including one-legged balances, are back. My standing stamina has improved to the point where I no longer have to sit down to rest before finishing a task or conversation. My Tai Chi and Qigong flows naturally and easily and I am back to teaching again (check out Embodying the Light in the menu at the top of this blog). I have continued to swim, though I’m taking a break due to Covid-19 right now. Based on my experience during this break, I can tell I was swimming too much and not doing enough walking and yoga. When I return to the pool, I’ll keep it to 1-2 times a week for a better overall balance.

I used to have this odd shaky feeling of not trusting my legs under me. Now I feel more connected neurologically to my legs. I credit my work with an amazing physical therapist, Kimberly Prucha, for helping me with this. Kimberly does manual and craniosacral therapy which helps realign and rebalance the whole spinal column, neurological and nerve network, joints, ligaments, tendons and muscles. Her approach is unlike any I’ve experienced and the results were fast and long-lasting. After three 90-minute sessions, I felt like a new person. It was the final touch on my healing process. You can find out more about Kimberly at her site: http://biodynamicmt.com/kimberly-prucha/. She also gave me stretches and exercises which have helped me maintain the work she did. I so appreciate this approach which helps me help myself. Now I go back every few months for a tune-up, but otherwise I can maintain my own balance and strength. What a gift! Thank you Kimberly, you’re a blessing!

I thought you might like to see what scars look like at this point:

The left hip was my easy one, so the scar is much smaller–about 4 inches. The right hip was my problem child and the surgeon had to go on a fishing expedition down my leg to retrieve the loosened cerclage cable during my last surgery (October, 2018). So that scar is longer–about 7 inches. Both have them have healed well. I did a lot of massage with vitamin E and avocado oil to lay down the scar tissue. My massage therapist, Stephanie Wilson (https://thehealingpointe.com/), also worked hard on reducing the scarring and restoring my functioning. Thank you Stephanie for your magic hands, which I so miss during this pandemic!

People sometimes ask me how I feel about my scars. I see them as a visible symbol of my journey from dysplasia to bionic buns that are strong and capable of carrying me easily through the rest of my life. They give me an opportunity to tell my story when people ask about them. I hope my experiences will be an inspiration to others who may be afraid of joint replacement surgery. It is truly a modern medical miracle that can restore your life, strength and vitality. I am so very grateful to be able to do everything I want to do with my body again!

I participated in this event, sponsored by BoneSmart, on May 4th, 2019. BoneSmart is the largest joint replacement forum in the world and is one of the online resources I used for support before and after my surgeries. It is a repository of a wealth of information on all types of joint replacements and includes user forums for support.

I was honored to be asked to create a short video of my experience for this event and to participate via a live Internet feed on a panel. I just received this link to the videos capturing the whole day and wanted to pass it along for those of you following my blog. There are a number of surgeons presenting all the latest information on joint replacements, as well as patient testimonials.

Here is the link: Joint Awareness Day Videos

My testimonial, including a nice video montage of what I can do now, appears in Session 10 at about the 1/2 way point. The patient panel I participated in live is recorded in Session 11.

I would encourage those of you getting ready for joint replacement to have a look at the videos. In the upper right you will see a menu option for accessing the 2018 JRAD videos.

I think it’s fun that this link was sent to me right before my one-year anniversary: October 31st. That was the day I had my cerclage cable removed in 2018 and when my recovery really took off. I’m happy to say that I am back to my normal self at last! I had a really great rest of my summer camping and hiking (reasonably), having learned from my earlier over-exuberance!

It feels like it is time for a hip update. I’m now almost 2 years out from my right hip replacement, 1 1/4 years from my left, and 10 months post-cable-removal from my right femur.

I finally feel healed! I can do all the things I really want to do now, without pain and struggle. It seems like a miracle when I look back at where I was 2 years ago–in agony and barely able to walk.

This summer I did my first real hiking in three years. It was such a pleasure to get out on mountain trails again and to be able to enjoy the experience without pain and disability.

Of course, I overdid my first big hike. Didn’t mean to, it just happened. The sign said: Smith Lake 2 miles. That seemed easily doable. It turned out to be 3 miles straight up and straight down on loose rock and I’d left my hiking poles at our campsite. Looking back, I don’t know why I kept going when it was clear that it was too much and I wasn’t having fun. Within the first mile, I was already questioning how I was going to get back down over all that loose rock on fatigued legs with no hiking poles. NOTE TO SELF: When you are feeling this way, it is time to stop and go back.

I ask myself now why I pushed it? Part of it was to prove I could do it, and I did. Part of it was not wanting to disappoint Scott. Turns out he wasn’t having fun either and would have welcomed the idea of returning to camp and choosing a less strenuous trail. We have since agreed that should we ever find ourselves on such a trail again, we will do exactly that and not worry about who we might disappoint! After that first hike, we did more moderate trails around beautiful mountain lakes which was much for enjoyable.

After that first round of hikes, I didn’t seem to have any ill effects, other than the usual soreness and muscle fatigue for a few days. Then, about 10 days afterwards, a really weird thing happened. I started feeling wobbly on my legs again, not trusting them under me, feeling weak. I was getting scary familiar twinges in my groin and around my trochanter on the sides of my hips. My left hip (which was my stronger one) seemed worse than my right, which was freaking me out. I started to fear dislocation. I had the old sensation that I could just walk right out of my hips. I considered calling my surgeon to request moving up my annual visit and getting some x-rays.

As I shared this with my hip friends, they wondered if I’d overdone it and just needed to take it easier, get my massages, sit in an epsom bath, do restorative/yin yoga. Basically, chill out!

This week, I’ve done exactly that and what a miracle cure! All the strange sensations and twinges disappeared. I could feel my legs strong and steady under me. I’ve been pondering what caused such a transformative change.

What I’ve come up with is that I made a commitment to my body not to push it beyond its edge, and I broke that commitment. In yoga, we “work our edge.” We come into a pose and find the edge of our comfort zone, our range. Then we back off a bit, breathe into it and explore opening further into the pose. This exploration is gentle, respecting the limits of our particular body in the moment. It seems I often have to be reminded of this practice, as my natural tendency is to extend myself beyond my limits. I have noticed that my hips tend to be my own personal alarm system, alerting me that I’ve gone too far. When something is so hard that I am tense and afraid and struggling, like that first hike, I need to back off and not push myself to keep going. Why do I seem to have to relearn that lesson over and over?

As I worked with my body in restorative/yin yoga poses, it came to me that I have also over-extended myself in other areas of my life this summer. Quakers have a lovely way of testing this by asking the question, “Am I keeping my life simple and avoiding commitments beyond my strength and Light?” I love this query! I promised myself that I would use it before making commitments and that I would honor my own limits. I know if I don’t take care of myself, my ability to be patiently and lovingly present for others is hampered. This is another lesson I seem to need to repeat, and another commitment to myself I have broken this summer.

I’ve found the best way to hold myself accountable is to share my struggles and ask for help from those who know and love me. This post is partly about doing that and enlisting your help in reminding me of these commitments. It is also about sharing honestly the ups and downs of recovery from hip replacements. I just saw a post on BoneSmart from a hip friend of mine expressing some of this same distrust of her new hips. Maybe we all experience this in our own ways and for our own reasons. I appreciated her bringing it up at the exact time that I was having the same struggle. It helped me look deeper and wonder, ask hard questions, be willing to revisit my old lessons and then talk about it honestly.

This week of resting, restoring, reflecting and renewing my commitments has been wonderful! It reminds me how important it is. Now my wish is to weave this way of being into the fabric of my daily life. I seemed to do this better when I was in hip recovery. Now that I am recovered from my surgeries, it’s time to recover my life from my over-do-it ways, and be kinder and easier with myself.

It is now May 2019, two years after I first thought, “There’s something wrong with my hips.” Two hip replacements later, I am free from the pain and disability I struggled with for years. What follows is a summary of my hip adventures; my Hip Tips in PDF form that you are welcome to print, use and share; and the link to the videos, x-rays, and photos taken along the way. If you are interested in seeing where I was at a particular stage in my journey, my Hip Adventures theme is organized in date order and most entries are labelled by the week or month post-surgery when I wrote that particular post. To access the entries, click on Hip Adventures at the end of this post. My intention has been to record and share my journey as a support and inspiration to others facing or experiencing hip replacement.

Here are my Hip Tips for my fellow hipsters out there. If you are going to have hip replacement surgery, or know someone who is, please feel free to print and use this document:

To view the video log of my journey and see X-rays and photos, click the link below, which will take you to Google Photos. The first video is a brief summary of my whole journey done for the BoneSmart forum. The videos of what I could do after my recovery are at the end, after the x-rays and photos. They include cross country skiing, Tai Chi, Yoga and Belly Dance.

Rhonda’s Hip Videos

To see descriptions of the videos: On your computer click on the “i” in the upper, right corner of a video or photo; on your phone click the “…” in the upper, right corner of a video or photo, then click “Info”. This will tell you what you are looking at and when it was created.

Summary of My Hip Adventures

How do I summarize a life changing journey? I’m going to do my best to give you a condensed version of what it is like to go from dysplastic to bionic.

History

This journey, unbeknownst to me, began when I was born. Hip dysplasia is a congenital birth defect that affects about 1% of the population. It is most common in first born daughters, which would be me. I count myself lucky that I led an athletic, adventurous life for 51 years before this condition literally took me down. Many people with dysplasia have problems from birth and endure multiple hip surgeries over the course of their lives. I truly got lucky.

I first began having problems when I was running track as a teenager. I attributed it to chiropractic issues and switched to cross country skiing and other non-impact sports. Turns out that was a good thing, probably saved my hips from going sooner. I didn’t have problems again until I was 41. At that time, I started having groin pain while hiking, especially when going downhill and taking long strides. I attributed that to a horseback riding injury which involved a groin pull in 2007.

I tried several therapeutic methods for healing my “groin injury”, including chiropractic, physical therapy, massage, and yoga. At first it helped, but gradually over time, I had a harder and harder time walking long distances and hiking over uneven terrain. My muscles would be unusually sore after workouts and didn’t seem to recover normally, especially my legs and glutes. I had been a belly dancer and spent a decade performing with a troupe. Belly dancing became increasingly painful and eventually I had to give it up. Then, dancing at all became impossible. By the time, I was 50 (2016), walking was an increasing challenge. Bending down and lifting things (hip hinging) led to back spasms. I was increasingly disabled, while taking increasing doses of ibuprofen for pain.

I had always been strong and pushed myself to the limits physically (and in many other ways). The pain and disability forced me to slow down, to be gentler and kinder to myself. This wasn’t an easy thing for me. I realized how much of my sense of worth was attached to my physical abilities and looks. I had to quit the gym (I’d been a gym rat and even co-owned a gym at one point). It hurt too much to do my workouts. I switched to walking and doing yoga, Tai Chi, and a machine called a Health Rider, which was easier on my body than the ellipticals and treadmills I’d been using at the gym. I opened my own studio where I taught yoga, Tai Chi and belly dance from 2013-2017.

In the fall of 2016, I was getting worse, but I was still convinced I had a soft tissue injury that needed to be rehabbed and strengthened. I decided to try more aggressive therapies including Pilates, skipping and jumping to challenge my legs, and active release therapy. My return to being more aggressive was the last straw for my hips.

In May 2017, I was walking with my partner across a creek and a stone turned under my foot. In my attempt to keep my balance, I felt a sharp pain shoot through my right hip. I knew in that moment something was wrong inside my hip. It was the first time that thought had occurred to me. Scott talked to me that night as I nursed the pain with wine and ibuprofen, “You’ve been trying to rehab this for a long time, and it is only getting worse. You need to see a doctor.”

Diagnosis

I called the Reno Orthopedic Clinic (https://renoortho.com/) when we returned from our trip and made an appointment to see Dr. Shukla for July 6^th. When I went in for the appointment, the techs took x-rays of my hip before I saw him. I had prepared a list of my symptoms and what I had already tried in the way of therapies. When he came into the room, he had the list and told me to follow him out to the computer so he could show me the x-rays because, “They tell the whole story.”

I will never forget standing in front of the big screen, looking at my hips. Dr. Shukla said, “Let’s start with your left hip.” I informed him I wasn’t having problems with my left hip. That’s when he told me I had bilateral hip dysplasia. He explained that it was a congenital condition and it meant that my hip sockets were shallow (like saucers instead of cups) and the head of my femur was deformed with rough edges that had worn away the cartilage in my hips. He pointed out the white areas of arthritis, the places where my left hip was already bone-on-bone, and the bone spurs that indicated distress. Then he turned to my right hip. It was just a mass of white and I couldn’t even make out the hip joint. That’s when I understood why he’d started with my left hip… Even I could see there was nothing left of the cartilage and it was almost totally bone-on-bone. I wondered how I was walking at all, so did he.

He took me back into the consulting room after introducing me to his assistant, Davis. I asked him what my options were. He said I could try an injection and more physical therapy, but it really required replacement. He told me that most people with dysplasia have their hips replaced and about 10% of all the replacements he does are in people with dysplasia. I recall taking a deep breath, and saying, “I don’t see that there is anything left to work with in my right hip, so what would be the point of putting off a replacement? I already can’t walk far and it’s keeping me up at night.” He informed me he was scheduled for a month, but we could start the process right now. With my head spinning, I found myself suddenly arranging to have my right hip replaced.

I recall having two thoughts at this point: 1) Thank God there is a fixable reason for all of this; 2) I’m going to have to have two hip replacements. After I got over the shock, it took me awhile (and a few major crying jags) to digest it all. The hardest part was knowing that I would need to have BOTH my hips replaced.

Preparing for Surgery

One of the things that helped me prepare was getting on some of the online forums, and looking up the medical and orthopedic sites, which explained my condition (you don’t know how many dog hips I looked at!). I found the International Hip Dysplasia Institute, BoneSmart, and PeerWell to be particularly helpful sites, as well as individual blogs giving more detailed descriptions of people’s hip replacement experiences and suggestions. That’s what inspired me to start my own blog. My clinic also had an excellent joint replacement class which was very informative.

By the time my surgery came around, I felt as prepared as I could be. My walking was so bad by then, I could hardly get around at all. One of my regrets on this end, is that I waited so long to see a doctor.

Right Hip Replacement

On September 20, 2017, I had my right hip replaced. It took about 90 minutes. Unfortunately, my femur was more distressed than they had anticipated (had a bunch of bone spurs growing on it indicating stress, probably because I waited too long…), so my surgeon was concerned that it might have micro-fractured when he placed the stem of the implant into the hollow part of the femur. To support my femur, he had to install a cerclage cable. It looks a lot like a zip tie you would use to tie up your electronic cables, only it is made of twisted metal. It went around my femur to support it.

When Dr. Shukla came to talk with me after the surgery, he told me about the cable and that it might bother me. If it did, he said he would remove it once the bone mended and grew around the implant. He was pleased with the outcome of the surgery and was able to correct my leg length discrepancy (my right leg was always about ¼ to ½ inch shorter than my left). I had problems tolerating the oxycodone they gave me for pain and had a rough night in the hospital, but by the next morning, I was better and able to go home.

The first 72 hours were the roughest! I had anesthesia and pain med brain, my bowels weren’t working right (this is normal, and I give tips about how to manage this problem in my Hip Tips), and I hurt. The majority of my pain was along the side of the hip and when I sat down. My recovery was longer than I’d expected. I struggled to use my leg and physical therapy was difficult and painful. Friends who had their hips replaced had told me I’d be walking easily within a week to 10 days. It took me two weeks to get from the walker to a cane and I was having a lot of problems with bearing weight on the surgical leg. Stairs were very problematic. My flexibility came back before my strength. This gave me hope and I did yoga and PT at home, hoping my walk would soon return. It actually took 3 months.

Fortunately, during this time, I rediscovered swimming! I always tell all my fellow hip people, “Get thee to a pool!” It is truly a miracle! In the water, all the weight is off the joint and you can move again. It was the best place to get my normal walk back. I relished my time in the water, lamenting that life on land was still such a struggle for me. I remember thinking it must be because of the dysplasia that it was taking so long.

At the 3-month mark, I was finally walking without a limp. But stairs were still the bane of my existence and many of my favorite one-legged yoga poses were not possible. I was frustrated. And then my other hip went… Dr. Shukla had told me that the surgery would either cause my left hip to go very quickly, or it would slow it down. It turns out the first thing Dr. Shukla tells me is always what happens.

Left Hip Replacement

I had my left hip replaced on May 16, 2018. What I learned from my first hip replacement definitely helped with my second round. I did not wait as long, so I wasn’t as disabled and that made a big difference in the surgery and recovery. Because I had not distressed my femur, Dr. Shukla didn’t have to cable it. My muscles were also a lot stronger on my left side. I immediately felt better than the first time and was walking without aids in 4 days! It seemed like a miracle and I was so grateful. This is the recovery I’d expected the first time, only better. My biggest dread going into the second surgery was having to go through another difficult recovery. I was also very happy that the hard one had been the first and not the second—imagine how disappointed I would have been! Davis reminded me that no two hips are ever alike.

I had 6 weeks of physical therapy with my first hip, but only 3 weeks for my second. Even my PT said that my first replacement recovery was one of the more difficult she’d witnessed and my second was one of the best she’d ever seen. By the end of physical therapy, I was pretty strong and walking around the block easily without aids. I could do a lot more than I had been able to with my right leg. I knew, without a doubt, the cerclage cable was causing my pain and continuing disabilities on my right side. It would have to come out.

This only became clearer as my recovery progressed and soon my left leg was much stronger than my right. Every time I flexed my muscles over the cable, it made a snapping noise and it hurt. The muscles themselves were atrophying and my massage therapist was expressing concern about the difference in my muscle tone. I still couldn’t balance on the leg or step up onto it easily. It quickly fatigued when I tried to walk more than a mile. It was difficult and painful to go up and down hills, over uneven terrain, and up stairs. While hiking, I used hiking poles because I didn’t trust my leg under me. I knew that my right leg was now holding my left leg back from a full recovery. So, at my 6-week follow up, I explained what was happening and Dr. Shukla and Davis said that I could have the cable removed.

I opted to do the surgery on October 31^st after a summer of recovering from my second hip replacement and doing some camping and short hikes. I continued to have problems related to the cable all summer. In hindsight, I should have had the cable removed sooner, perhaps six weeks after my second hip replacement. It would have saved me some of the pain and challenges I endured in the later summer and fall.

Surgery to Remove Cerclage Cable from Right Femur

The surgery to remove the cable lasted only 20 minutes. They put me under, but only lightly. I was ready to go home an hour and a half after the surgery! It was nothing compared to a hip replacement. I asked Dr. Shukla if I could have the cable and they gave it to me in the recovery room. I will never forget touching it the first time. It was literally like a piece of barbed wire! It had a large, square, rough-edged end where the cable is tightened around the femur (there are photos of it in the Video link). Then the end of the cable is cut, leaving a sharp, frayed edge which had been gouging into my muscles! I was so shocked. How could something this awful be used in the human body? It looked like something I would have fixed fence with on our ranch when I was a kid!

Davis told me my muscles had fretted over the end, fraying it and loosening the cable. They had to open my incision longer to find the cable and remove it, so my scar is about an inch and a half longer than it was. He did a beautiful job stitching it up though and it healed very quickly.

When I went in for my follow up appointment after the surgery, I spoke with them about the cable. My intention was to advocate for changing to a kinder and gentler system. In my online research, I had found one and I brought pictures with me. I will never forget Davis telling me they had already changed their system. They had found something even smaller and less invasive than I had! He drew a picture for me on a piece of paper.

He told me the difficulty they face is that implant manufacturers have yet to send these newer cables with the implants, and the operating rooms in the hospitals are reticent to carry them. They had had some success in getting ORs to carry a few, but sometimes other surgeons used them all! He asked if he could use my blog and the list of what changed for me after the cable came out, to advocate for the better system. I said, “Absolutely!” I would love it if my blog could help prevent suffering for others.

This is one of the things I love about my surgical team. They are always looking at ways to improve what they do and their patients’ experience and healing process. They listen and they care. I will be forever grateful to them and my excellent physical therapists, Lori Beck and Jessie, at the Reno Orthopedic Clinic (https://renoortho.com/) for giving me back my ability to walk and do all the things I love again without pain. It seems like a miracle to me after so many years of struggle.

Recovery

I did another 3 weeks of physical therapy to balance out my muscles and strengthen my weakened left side. At 6 weeks, I resumed my regular massages with my skilled therapist, Stephanie Wilson (https://www.facebook.com/massagebystephaniewilson). I did this after every surgery and it really helped with breaking down scar tissue, improving circulation, removing toxins, and relieving tension and pain in the muscles. I would encourage everyone to work with a massage therapist as soon as your surgeon okays it. Thank you, Stephanie for your magic, healing hands that have helped me through this whole adventure and beyond! 

Within 4 months, I was able to walk 3 miles regularly, swim 1000 meters 3-4 times per week, cross country ski 3 miles (including back country skiing which involves breaking trail through fresh snow), dance, lift and carry 25-50 pounds, go up several flights of stairs, and do most of my yoga and Tai Chi. One-legged yoga poses were the last thing to come back and that took about a year from my last replacement (May 2019). It was such a thrill when I could finally do the Dancer Pose again! I can now do everything I really want to do. I feel strong and balanced, my flexibility is back and better than it was in my hip flexors and surrounding muscles, and I am at last pain free! I recover from exercise normally again. I sleep well. My energy has returned, along with my enthusiasm for life. At some point, I realized all the pain and disability had led to a depression. Now the clouds have lifted, and a new, sunny day begins with my new bionic buns!

How I’ve Changed

I’m not the same person I was two years ago when my hips really started to go on me. I’ve become softer, gentler, easier on myself and others. I understand what people in their 80’s and 90’s feel like. I’ve been there. I know how lack of mobility can change your life and shrink your world, how pain brings on fatigue, depression and difficulty sleeping. I have more empathy and patience.

Here is an excerpt from my blog, written about a year ago, on March 20, 2018—6 months after my first hip replacement and 2 months before my second:

Lately, I’ve reflected on the bigger picture surrounding the events of this year. I know that I am in the midst of a major transformation of my life, not just my butt… I am entering a new phase, hopefully with more compassion, patience, tolerance and wisdom. I am realigning the deeper parts of myself, creating a firm foundation within and without. I guess what I’m trying to say is I know it isn’t just about my hips, but about my whole being, my whole life. I will never be the same after this year. And that is not a bad thing.

I can already feel the softening, the slowing down, taking hold of me. I don’t want it to let go as I heal physically. I won’t let it go. For me, life has always been a race to get things done, to reach goals, to make plans for the future, to run away from the pain of the past or the anxiety of the present. This experience has literally sat me down, forced me to get and stay quiet. I’m finding that I love the peace of stillness and silence. There is no place to go out there, nothing to do, just be here and now in this moment. Though I have understood this intellectually and pursued it in meditation for the last 27 years, it’s only now that I am experiencing it more and more. And I want more! More of less. These old hips have been a godsend.

As this journey has unfolded, I’ve realized I am not my body. That might sound funny, but it was quite a revelation to me!  I am reminded of the words of one of my yoga teachers, “Remember you are not in your body; your body is in you. Your energy field extends a few feet beyond your body and connects your Spirit and the Universal Spirit. Your body is just the vehicle you ride around in on Earth until it gives out and your Spirit returns to its Source.” My hip adventures helped me to fully realize the truth of what she’d said.

These days I don’t carry the old attachments to my body—how it looks and what it can do—as indicators of my worth. I am more into being and less into doing. I still spend a lot of time caring for my body, but it’s different now. I actually CARE for it instead of trying to beat it into submission. I’m sad about all the years I pushed myself so hard and caused needless injuries in the process.

Now I eat healthy and do gentle exercises like swimming, walking, yoga and Tai Chi. I’m careful not to fall, and work on balance exercises every day. In the mornings, I do a Tai Chi/meditation/prayer practice which helps center and prepare me for the day. During this practice, I ask my body what it needs that day and I’m finding I can hear it ever more clearly. I think I’ve finally befriended my body. It’s sad to think it took nearly 53 years, but it’s better than never!

I’m also much more aware of the wonderful people in my life: my family, friends, neighbors and Scott—my beloved partner. I am so grateful to all of them for their help and support. When you are not able to function normally, you feel vulnerable and frightened. I am so grateful to all of them for their care, which helped me feel safe and loved. I’m especially thankful to Scott for his sunny, steadfast support through it all. When I would slip into despair, he always encouraged me to have patience, it would get better.

Another change I’ve noticed is the blossoming of my spiritual life. As my physical attachments have lessened, I’ve become more interested in my interior life. I take more time for reading and contemplation. My sense of Self is expanding. The boundaries which have always kept me separate, are falling away. Increasingly, I sense myself as part of everything and everything as part of me. There is more love, peace, kindness, and happiness, even when hard things are happening. I know that all things pass, but that which I am, endures. In some moments, I feel pure bliss and a deep sense of well being.

I’ve come to see my Hip Adventures as a gift. Along the way, I am learning who I really am—part of everything and everyone. No longer separate and alone, an outsider looking in. I’m not sure why it was this experience which brought me Home, but I am grateful. Now I am also grateful to have strong legs and hips to walk on and to serve with, as I embark on a new journey.

It feels like a new dawn in my world–coinciding with the beginning of a new year. At last, I feel like I’m over the hump of my hip adventures! Slowly, my strength, balance and energy are returning and I am feeling more like myself again. I didn’t realize how much energy this all took and how tired I was. 

I’m happy to say that Scott and I went cross country skiing on Monday! It was the first time in 2 years, another milestone of something I used to do and can now do again. I loved gliding over the snow, watching the sun sparkle like diamonds on a white blanket, winding through the trees with the skis “swoosh swooshing” beneath me. I felt strong and balanced–though my balance is now a little out to the side from where it was before. I also notice this in one-legged yoga poses. I used to hug in close to the mid-line of my body, keeping the weight off the outside of my hips, where unbeknownst to me, I had no functional hip joint. Now that I have hips, I have to remind myself to lean outwards over the joints. I have a new balance point. True on more than just the physical levels of my life.

Now seems to be a time of finding my new balance points from the yoga mat into my daily life. I’ve continued my morning Tai Chi, yoga and meditation practices. They center me into a deeper and quieter place from which to enter my day. I always ask to be of service to the larger good. Then the day unfolds and I am literally led to where I need to be and with whom. Some time in the afternoon, I break for a swim, yoga, or a walk to re-center again. 

Finding balance seems to be about coming into center, then engaging in a more outward way with the world and those around me, and then returning back to center. Over and over. Gone are the days of my youth, when I raced at full-tilt through a day, multi-tasking with an OCD ferocity. Looking back, that was exhausting. “Confusing activity with accomplishment” as Zig Ziglar used to say.

I’m also aware of how much time I spend in the future, the next moment, and not in the present moment. It occurs to me that this is how I’ve been missing my life. My hip adventures have helped to slow me down and be more present in the only moment I have–NOW.

As odd as it may sound, I am grateful for this whole experience. It has taught me so much and truly changed my life. My resolve now is not to forget what I’ve learned–to move forward with ease, strength and balance, all the while being present in each moment with an open heart.

It feels like it is time to write in this blog as things come up that I want to share along the way. For sure, I’ll do an update in May and November–my one year mark for my left hip and my annual checkup. Thanks for being along for the ride!

I graduated from physical therapy this week! Hard to believe. It was a bigger deal than I thought it would be–walking out of the ROC for the last time. I won’t be back until my annual checkup next November. This long journey is coming to an end. It began on July 6, 2017 with my diagnosis of  severe osteoarthritis due to congential hip dysplasia.  A year and a half later, I have two new hips and a new lease on a life of mobility! 

I did my usual overdoing after surgery and when I started PT. Then, I had to dial it back into my Goldilocks Zone. I always get way too exuberant after a surgery, so excited by what I can do that I haven’t been able to for some time. At least, after 3 surgeries in 13 months, I figure it out sooner and STOP! 

But, it has been different this time. The setbacks are mild compared to what I’ve dealt with for the last few years. Before when I overdid it, I paid for weeks, even months. Since the cable came out, I had a few days of soreness and a stiff back for a week or so. Nothing like what it was. I finally feel like I’ve crested the ridge of this hip adventure and am on my way back to a more normal life. Instead of feeling like I’m in my 80’s, I feel like I’m in my 40’s! The miracles of modern medicine are truly amazing and I’m grateful to have been the beneficiary of a number of them, including these two hip replacements. I’d be in a wheelchair if it weren’t for these bionic buns of mine!

I want to express again my thanks to my surgeons, Dr. Shukla and his assistant, Davis. They have done an amazing job of reconstructing me and giving me my life back. I also want to thank Lori and Jessie, my physical therapist and her assistant, who helped me to regain strength and balance. Over this last month, they’ve given me challenging exercises to help me rebalance and strengthen my weakened right side. I had my last session with them this Monday and gave them both a big hug. It seemed surreal to walk out the door of the clinic and think, “I won’t be back for a year.” 

Another very ironic event happened the night before my last PT session. On Sunday we had dinner with friends and I was showing them my cable. It had become quite the conversation piece in the last seven weeks and I’ve shown it to everyone. “Look what they took out of my leg!” The response is always, “Wow! No wonder you were in pain!”

Before we left on Sunday, I was distracted saying goodbye to people and walked away from the table, leaving the cable! I didn’t remember until the next day (the day of my official graduation from the ROC). Scott went back to the restaurant to see if anyone had turned it in, but they hadn’t. My cerclage cable was gone! At first, I panicked. Then it hit me, “It’s time to let it go.” Oftentimes, when I reached in my purse to get that nasty thing, it bit me. It was always very ill mannered. I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with it, because everyone had seen it. And then the Universe whisked it away, into the trash, where it belongs. I’m good with that.

So, a new life chapter begins now, or at least, that is how it feels to me. I’m excited to see what it will bring. Already, so many of the things I wanted to be able to do again I can. For example, last week Scott and I ran a wine toss booth at a Christmas Party we attend annually. It requires two hours of standing and bending over to scoop up the rings (people get to take  home the wine they toss a ring over, but most of the rings end up on the floor). Then we danced for another hour and a half to some great tunes the DJ was playing! For a few years now, I suffer after this party. I’m happy to say that I got up the next day and was just a little sore! It was a miracle!

As soon as we get some more snow, I want to try cross country skiing, which I haven’t really done for 2 seasons now. I love gliding across the snow in the pines and I can’t wait to try it again and see how it feels!

Oh yeah! I also was able to walk more than a mile on the beach over Thanksgiving without being in pain during or after! I think it’s been 3 years since I’ve been able to manage sand without pain.

I decided it was time to do another video now that shows what I can do at 7 weeks after the cable was removed, compared to what I could do before. It is the last video at this link: Rhonda’s Hip Adventure Videos. I will continue to update this blog and my videos as my healing progresses. I hope this will be an inspiration and give hope to those of you who may be putting off needed hip surgery!

This whole experience, helped me realize it is the simplest things in life that mean the most and I didn’t know how important they were until I couldn’t do them anymore. My hip adventures have been an amazing teacher about what is really important. My hope is that I will not forget the lessons as I heal. I intend to keep my life simple: do the right thing in this moment, be grateful that I am enough just as I am, and know there is enough of everything I really need right now, right here. And, of course, I am eternally grateful for my beloved Scott, my family and friends, and dear Theo the cat, for your support and love.

Wishing you all a Happy Christmas and a Blessed New Year!

And a Happy Full Moon Solstice today–an auspicious day for setting new intentions! This is the day the light begins to return to our darkened, winter world and we think of the spring to come and the new year ahead.

Yesterday, my beloved Scott and I celebrated our 6th Anniversary of being together. Six beautiful years with this amazing man! We’ve been through a lot in that time: Scott’s retirement, his mother’s death, my father’s death, the death of two of our dear pets–Sam and Peanut, and two years of hip pain and surgeries for me. Never once has he wavered in his steadfast, positive happiness and generous love. He is truly my sunshine and the love of my life!

As my hips got worse, he encouraged me to go see a surgeon instead of continuing to hurt myself trying to rehab what wasn’t fixable, took care of me when I was totally incapacitated after the first surgery, cheered me on when I was discouraged, cautioned me to take it easier when I was pushing too hard, and worried about me more than I knew as I struggled with continuing pain and disability.

Sometimes we don’t know how our suffering impacts our partners and all those who love us. They go along for this ride too. Here’s part of the card Scott gave me for our 6th:

We are so grateful that at last this ordeal is over, and for the modern medical miracles and awesome surgical team that made it possible for me to walk and dance again. 

I am grateful to you, dear Scott, for all the help, support and encouragement along the way. I know it hasn’t been easy for you and I can never express how much it means to me that you shined your sunny light on me no matter what. Here’s to the next chapter of our lives! I know we can face anything with each other.

Yesterday, I had my post-op with Dr. Shukla and Davis. I got to say goodbye to my “saddle bag” bandage and see the incision. It looks good (I’ll put photos and the xrays at the end, so if you don’t want to see them, don’t scroll down :-).

Yesterday was a celebration, a graduation, into a whole new chapter of my life. I finally have solid, strong, even hips under me for the first time and the cable that has held me back is gone! If I’m careful about what I do, these hips should last me for life. I hugged both Dr. Shukla and Davis and told them how very grateful I am to them for giving me my life and my body back. I couldn’t keep myself from tearing up, didn’t want to. For me, this is a miracle and I’m excited to see what I’ll be able to do as I strengthen my right leg and restore balance to a body which has never been balanced on a solid foundation. I can already do so much more than I could two weeks ago. It was fun to be able to show them! (I promise I’ll make a new video after my physical therapy so you can see too.)

I also talked with them about the cable. I saw Davis first and gave him a printout of my last entry on all the changes I’d seen within a few days of its removal. I pulled out the brochure for the Kinamed SuperCable, which I’d given him after my second hip replacement, when I knew it was the cable that had been my problem with the first replacement.

Then he made my day with a wonderful piece of news: “We found something even better–flatter, smaller and smoother.” He drew a picture for me of the small, flat clasp that holds the new cerclage cable together. He explained that the challenge he and Dr. Shukla face is convincing operating rooms and implant manufacturers to provide these superior cabling systems. He asked if he could use the information on the changes I had seen when it was removed and refer to my blog when they are advocating for the newer system. Absolutely! Then, I would feel like my suffering has not been in vain and that this blog could be of value in preventing suffering for others. These cerclage cables are used in many orthopedic surgeries, not just in hip replacements.

I asked how often they have to remove them. He explained that most people are not bothered by the older cables, except for people who are more slender, fit and body aware. “But, yours was the second one we’ve removed in 4 months.” He also told me my cable had loosened and that’s why it gave me more problems over time.

Then I saw Dr. Shukla and we also talked about the cable. I told him I was so happy to hear that they are using a new system and trying to make it more available. I said, “It’s an insult to your beautiful work to put this cable in on top of it.” He nodded, smiled and blushed. He too requested permission to use my blog as a case study to advocate for change and possibly create a link for other Reno Orthopedic Clinic patients. 

We wrapped it up with hugs and good wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for!

I went home and immediately felt a rush of relief. I realized I’d been bracing myself for the conversation about the cable. I wanted to express my concerns and implore them to change systems. But, more importantly, I wanted them to know how much I appreciated their skillful work which restored my body and gave me my life back. 

How great it was to hear that they had already changed! This is how good medicine and strong doctor-patient relationships should be. We work together towards better and better outcomes. Every time I have a surgery, they have some new innovation which has made my life easier. For example, the DVT icing/compression unit I received for my second replacement and the Prevena bandage system used on this incision. I feel so fortunate to have doctors who listen and make changes based on what they hear from their patients.

Feeling heard is truly a salve for heart and soul. I cried and laughed and danced with joy and relief for the rest of the afternoon. I’m BACK! (Well, mostly, still have some rehab to do… I’ll keep you posted on that as I go along.)

Ok, here’s show and tell:

I thought you might like to see photos of my amazing surgical team…

God Bless the two of you! Thanks for saving my butt! See you in a year!

Before I forget, as my body returns to normal, I want to make sure I note some of the changes I’m observing now that I have my right leg back under me:

• When I wake up in the mornings, I no longer have the achy, arthritic stiffness I’ve grown accustomed to. I thought I’d have to live with that for the rest of my life. Since my right hip replacement, I’ve felt like I was 80+ when I got out of bed in the morning. I did 30 minutes of Qigong and Tai Chi to be able to move and dissipate the pain. Now I don’t have pain anymore. (I even removed the ever-present bottle of ibuprofen from my night stand!) The really odd thing is that pain affected most of my body: legs, glutes, back, shoulders, neck. Now it is suddenly gone and I feel my old self again! Could it be possible that my whole body was reacting to that cable? Maybe it was just a lot of muscular contraction and holding of tension? I don’t know, but it’s a very welcome relief!
• The soreness from the surgery is already mostly gone. I actually have less pain now than I before the surgery! It’s Day 5 and I can hardly tell it ever happened.
• I can do lunges and squats, and hinge from my hips. The pain which caused me to favor the right side and shift my weight to the left, is gone. As a result, I am much more balanced and stable when doing these movements. As of Day 5, I can squat all the way down to the floor, sit on my heels, and come back up. I would have screamed doing this before the surgery, or collapsed on the floor.
  
• Because of the increased balanced stability in my legs, when I bend down to pick something up, the familiar twinge going up the right side of my back (QL) is gone. I no longer fear throwing my back into spasm every time I reach for the floor. I didn’t realize the contortions I was going through trying to avoid engaging the right leg and hitting the cable. As a result, my back is looser and I feel much more confident using it. I can effortlessly touch my palms on the floor again.
• This morning, I reached over the right arm of my recliner for something on the floor. I didn’t even think about it. I could never do this without a lot of pain before, so I avoided it. This motion requires me to shift my weight onto the outside edge of my right thigh and it always caused so much pain once my flesh hit the sharp edge of the cable that I stopped. I’d get out of the chair and bend over my left leg instead.
• I can lift my leg to put on and pull off pants without needing additional support. I trust my balance and can control the right leg.
• It is much easier to get up from a sitting position.
• I can tighten my glutes and not feel an aching pain in my right hip and outer thigh.
• I vacuumed yesterday and caught myself extending the right leg and pushing from there. I’ve been doing left-leg-leading vacuuming for probably 2 years!
• I’ve stopped continuously massaging the outside of my right thigh.
• I am no longer constantly aware of having a foreign object in my leg. Now both my implants feel like an integral part of my body and I cannot even tell they are there. It was like this on my left side by about 6-weeks. But the right has always bothered me until now.
• From my first walk on Day 4: My full, even stride is back! I can walk uphill and step up stairs and onto rocks without pain and with confidence. I was able to lift my leg over a fence, which I couldn’t do before. Uneven ground is no longer a scary negotiation. Hey, maybe I won’t need to always use hiking poles on a trail! My back isn’t stiff and my legs don’t ache when I get home. 
  
• From my second walk on Day 5: I expected to be sore, because I did a lot yesterday! I was having too much fun exploring what I could do! I figured I’d pay for it today, which is what usually happens, but instead I am only a little sore. I was able to come back home and do some yoga without feeling wobbly on my legs and having a tight back and achy legs.
• I can do belly dance moves which have been impossible since the replacement, these moves require me to shift all my weight onto the right leg and engage the gluteus medius. For example, I can now do hip drops, figure 8’s and the 3/4 shimmy. I can also push the right hip out to the right side, as if I were bumping a car door closed, and not get bit by the cable. I might actually dance again! This is one of the great joys of my life and I realize I haven’t even put the music on to tempt me, because I simply couldn’t do it without a lot of pain and awkwardness.
• I can do the high kick in Tai Chi 24-short form and control, extend and straighten the leg. In Snake Creeps Through Grass, I can step onto the right leg (which is extended out in a lunge) and pull the rest of my body and my left leg up to join it. Before I had to sort of hop my left leg up, using it more than my weakened right leg.
• From the yoga mat: Poses that engage the right leg no longer hurt, e.g. Warrior I and II. I still can’t do Warrior III or Dancer, which require full extension over the right leg, while extending the left leg back. But, I am finally able to begin tentatively shifting weight onto the right leg and extending the left leg back while leaning forward. I was totally unable to do this before. While lying on my left side, I can lift, circle and hold the right leg with control and without pain which I have not been able to do, particularly holding the leg up and forward while scissoring my left leg up to meet it. I can do a supine twist to the left without the catch in my right side and back. All poses which open the right side are easier and my range of motion is back. It honestly felt like my whole right side froze up every time I asked the muscles to stretch over and rake that cable. And I can certainly see why! It was like pulling them over a piece of barbed wire. I’d say that most of my practice (and daily life) has been affected by the cable and my body struggling to work around it and avoid pain. 

Last night I realized I’ve been depressed. I feel like my life has been on pause and now I’m back! Scott told me last night that he can tell I’m happy again. I feel so sad for him–he’s had to live with my pain, disability and depression all this time. I’m sure he felt like he’d lost his partner, and he did.

Scott and I were trying to pinpoint when the depression started. He thought it was two years ago. That’s when I started aggressively working with physical therapists and body workers in a vain attempt to heal my hip pain. This, of course, only aggravated my condition and increased my pain and disability. Then, I was diagnosed with dysplasia in July, 2017. My right hip was replaced in September, 2017 and the cable was installed to support my femur. It took me 3 months to walk without a limp and walking was never easy or pleasurable again. Then my left hip went and it was replaced in May, 2018. No cable was required. I could walk without aids in 4 days and had no limp within 2 weeks. It was then that I knew my problems on the right were caused by the cable and it had to go. Turns out, it was true!

But it wasn’t just the leg that was affected. Now it seems my whole body was affected with all the aches and pains I suddenly had. And I was depressed. Life had lost its luster. I no longer had the strong body I’d always counted on. Now I feel like my old self again on all levels. I’m 40 instead of 80!

There is no way to express how wonderful it feels to be able to do all the things I love to do with my body without pain. I am indebted to the miracles of modern medicine which have allowed me to walk again, and to my awesome surgeon, Dr. Shukla and his equally awesome assistant, Davis. They are truly masters of minimally invasive hip replacement and surgery. I can hardly tell they were in my leg to the bone 5 days ago. I will be forever grateful to them for my ability to walk, dance, do yoga and Tai Chi, and live my life again. The only thing that could have been better would have been a kinder, less invasive cerclage cable system. Hopefully, that can be corrected in the future, so others don’t have to go through what I have for these last 13 months.