Author Archives: Rhonda Ashurst

Comparison

This week in my conversation with Debs we talked about comparison–a close cousin to judgment. She asked me to write something about this subject. Upon reflection, I would have to say my experience is that comparison comes before judgment. We compare ourselves against another (or others) and then we judge who is right, wrong, better, worse. We tend to attack the wrong/worse one and put the right/better one on a pedestal. This creates suffering for both us and the other. We can also compare situations, people, things, animals, etc. with similar results.

What creates the suffering? Isn’t it true that some of us are better at certain things than others, or we possess qualities/things others don’t? Isn’t it so that we like some situations, people, things, animals better than others? Sure. It’s what we do with that information which can cause suffering.

I learned the most about comparison on my yoga mat, so I’m going to go there for some examples. My teacher said to me, “Be on your mat in each moment with your body as it is in each pose. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, including me. Your business is on your mat.” It was then that I became painfully aware that I was always on everyone else’s mat. How were they doing compared to me, me to them? Was I more flexible or them? Who was stronger? Who could hold their balance longer? If I came up less than, I attacked myself, put them on a pedestal and felt envious. If I came up better than, I put myself on a pedestal and looked down on them. This goes against every principle and value of yoga there is! OUCH!

Then began a long practice of staying on my mat. More and more, I can be there. And then a new challenge will come and I stray into comparison again. Lately my challenge is my new hip and all the changes it has brought into my life and onto my mat. I am not as flexible, strong or balanced as I was before. Now my comparison is with a previous self who no longer exists. Who, honestly, may never exist again, not in her previous form. This causes me great suffering and I can weep on my mat. But, it is my choice to make this very unfair comparison and find my current self lacking.

Another choice is to be with where I am on the mat in each moment without comparison and judgment, but with discernment and compassion. What can I do? Where is my new edge? What happens when I drop the judgment about that edge and just breathe into it, embrace it, wrap lovingkindness around it, be grateful for what I can do? Well, my muscles relax and I can drop more deeply into the pose because I am not fighting my own body. My body can trust me and stop pushing against me in order to protect itself. Sometimes it tells me to do another pose, or to give it a rest and just go straight to savasana (relaxation pose).

I have found when I stop pushing on other people or animals, I get a similar response: relaxation, trust, warmth, a drawing closer instead of pulling away. We often compare others with who we wish they were or with someone else we like better.  We can wish we were with someone else, somewhere else, or that we were someone else if we are on the short end of the comparison stick.

Debs called me at this point in my writing this post… She asked me to talk about lasagna vs. grill cheese sandwiches (that woman is all about food). She finds herself craving “lasagna” both the food and people she loves who she considers the “lasagnas” of her life. But she finds cheese sandwiches boring, both in food and people. When she’s with a cheese sandwich, for example, all she can think of is the lasagna and why can’t this person be more like the other one I prefer?

I pointed out that we all need a balanced diet to be healthy, both when it comes to food and people! We need grilled cheese, lasagna, fruit & veggies, chocolate, granola, wine, and the list goes on. Even though we may have preferences for lasagna over cheese sandwiches, it takes all of it to make the world go round, give us the experiences and nourishment we need, and help us appreciate lasagna.

Then she said something very profound, “I need to be the lasagna. Then I’ll bring more lasagna into my life.” This is another golden truth about comparison. Sometimes it leads us to see, usually through envy, what it is we would like be.

Today’s enlightening practice:

Drop the comparison stick. When you find yourself comparing, be aware that is what you are doing and STOP. Breathe deeply into your belly and focus on your heart. Open it. Open your mind. Find something you can appreciate and be grateful for in yourself, in the other, in the situation. Shift your focus more to your gratitude than what is lacking. Be 100% present in the moment with acceptance of what is.

NOTE: Sometimes we are in a situation or with a person where our discernment tells us to get out of there, to withdraw, to move away from. In those situations it can be unskillful and dangerous to remain trying to find something good to appreciate! I personally find my body, especially my gut, is a good indicator and I’ve learned to trust it.

NOTE 2: If the comparison stick has helped you realize that you need to cultivate some quality in yourself that you envy in the other, stop despairing and get to work!

What I will do today:

Go eat some lasagna at my favorite Italian restaurant with my sweetie!

7.5 Weeks – Graduation!

I graduated from the Reno Orthopaedic Clinic (ROC) this week. Unless I have a problem before, I will go back in a year for my annual checkup and xrays. This clinic has been my home away from home for the past two months. Fortunately it is just 5 minutes down the street, and ironically, catty-corner from St. Mary’s Hospital where I was born.

I saw my surgeon’s assistant, Davis on Thursday. I told him I was still walking with a limp and having trouble strengthening my gluteus medius (muscle on side of the hip that stabilizes you when you walk), also some pain around the incision and in the muscles. Davis looked at me quizzically, and said, “You are at 7 weeks, not 7 months.  We had to part your gluteus medius and then stretch it longer to fit over the implant and accommodate your new, longer leg length. It is going to have a big adjustment for awhile. Give it 7 – 12 months. Adjust your expectations and keep a positive attitude. Keep working on it. It will come.”

Just to give you a mental picture, Davis is a no-nonsense man with a handlebar mustache. He was dressed in a purple suit with bright red socks (he is always in something I’ve never seen before that is both snazzy & whimsical). I often think he dresses this way to take a little edge off his no-nonsense communication style and help you feel a little more comfortable with the fact that he is going help out with “cutting open your hip, sawing off the worn out parts and throwing them in the trash, drilling a new socket in your pelvis and then screwing and hammering metal implants into the socket and your femur.” (Yes, he actually said something a lot like this at my 2nd consultation in August. I remember asking what they would do if my femur cracked while they were hammering in the implant. He told me they would wire it together and it would be fine. Though it didn’t crack, they did end up wiring it together just like he said, and it seems to be fine.) By the way, Davis also did a lot of the stitching on my nicely healing incision. He is very skilled at what he does and I, for one, and Scott for two, very much appreciate his candid approach to communication and his unique fashion sense!

I showed him some of my flexibility like being able to touch my toes and bring foot up to my thigh cross-legged. I said, “This is really coming back faster than I expected.” He told me this was very unusual. Probably has to do with my yoga. He looked at my incision and was pleased with how it is healing. He then announced I no longer had any restrictions and they would see me in a year. I gave him the first draft of Rhonda’s Hip Tips (see the Resources page). I told him they could give it to other patients if they thought it would help them.

On the way out, I saw Dr. Shukla and shook his hand, thanking him and Davis both for their great work on my new hip. I touched my toes for him and told him I was just having some trouble with my gluteus medius and still limping. He said, “Yep, that’s going to fight you for awhile.” He gave me one of his shy, cherub smiles, the ones that make the nurses exclaim, “Isn’t he adorable?” You gotta love Dr. Shukla.

Then I went out for my final PT session with Lori. While I was standing in line to check in, Dr. Shukla came out calling my name. He rushed up to me with the Hip Tips in his hand and said, “This is great, can we use this?” Yes, that is what it is for, I told him. He said, “We could use something like this from the patient’s perspective. There is good information in here. Thank you for doing this.” I thought, “How sweet.” I really am lucky to have such a good doctor and team. Everyone here has been so good at what they do and wonderful to work with. I will definitely return to this clinic and hopefully, be able to have the same great surgical team, work on my left hip when its time comes.

Then I went in for my last PT session and Lori and her intern, James did my final range of motion and strength assessments for my discharge. My range of motion is pretty much even now in both of my hips, which they also remarked is unheard of. Lori said, “I’ve got to start practicing yoga.” My strength was good except on the side of my right leg where that gluteus medius is just not there yet. We went over all the exercises I can do at home to continue strengthening it. I am grateful to the PT team, including my assistant Jessie, who helped me get where I am at 7.5 weeks. My setbacks were always my own doing. Remember to listen to your body and tell your PT’s if an exercise is too much! They cannot know that if you don’t tell them.

So, I am officially graduated from the ROC and on my own. I know it is time and I’m confident I’ll find my way from here. I also know they are right down the street if I have a problem.

To celebrate, I bought a year membership at St. Mary’s Fitness Center across the street from the ROC. They have an amazing pool, jacuzzi and hot water therapy area which I intend to use regularly. I’m thinking my fitness routine is likely to become more water oriented now… I did go once last week and wow!!! I remember a fellow hip lady saying in her blog, “Get thee to a pool!” She was so right. I can still swim like a dolphin and I can walk in water (on water is still beyond me ;-). I haven’t done laps in 25 years and it was awesome to see that I can still do all my strokes and kicks. The PT’s told me that walking in the water can help to restore my normal gait because all the weight is lifted off the joint. I found this is true. It felt so good to walk with a complete stride, though I’m still pretty unsteady and need to hold the hand rail.

It feels like I have come to a completion now, at least of the most intensive first part of this adventure in hip replacement. I suspect I will post something about once a month at this point so my fellow hip people can see how it evolves from here. One thing I really want to stress, is that we are all unique. This is my journey. Yours will be different. While it is good to hear about other people’s experiences, and you can learn a lot of helpful information from that, remember to be true to yourself and your body.

Judgment vs. Discernment

Yesterday, I had a fascinating conversation, as I often do, with my friend, Peggy. We got on the subject of judgment vs. discernment. What’s the difference? We came up with some good distinctions I wanted to share.

Judgment often comes from an ego-based place and it tends to have a hard edge to it. When I’m judging, I notice tension in my jaws, tightness in my heart, narrowing of my eyes. It often comes out as criticism of another’s thoughts, actions, beliefs. “I can’t believe she could think that!” “How could he have done that?”  “Who could hold such a belief?” It is about condemnation from a self-elevated place. In this place I have forgotten “judge not lest ye be judged.” I want to change the other to be more like me, because I’ve got it all figured it (ha!). There is a strong element of righteous indignation that makes me feel superior to whomever or whatever I’m judging. It is about force, forcing my opinion on someone else. The other thing I notice about judging is that I’m often judging something in myself that I have projected onto the other person (remove the log in your own eye, before seeking to remove the splinter in your neighbor’s). If I’m particularly riled up about something, I can be sure it is a reflection of something I’m doing myself that I don’t like.

Discernment is related to judgment, but it comes from a different place. Here’s a good definition I found online: discernment is perceiving without judgment and with the intention of obtaining spiritual direction and understanding. It is about Seeing with the Eyes of the Soul (previous post). Discernment seeks the truth from a higher perspective and it is softer than judgment. When I am discerning, I am not tense, my heart is soft and open, I am curious about the other’s thoughts, actions, beliefs. I ask questions and listen for the answers, not to pounce on them in order to correct, but to better understand them. Meanwhile, I’m also checking in with myself, hopefully my Higher Self, and my heart and gut. I’m trying to better understand myself in relation to the other (I’m also seeking the log in my eye). Out of this practice, I may be influenced to change my mind, or to refine or reframe  my thinking. I see the other’s way of seeing/being/thinking as equal to my own, not less than. I may also decide that my perspective rings more true to me and works better and that I’m sticking with it. But, I don’t go the extra step of judgment and try to force it on the other. Often this is a place of agreeing to disagree and moving on. It is about mutual respect and empowerment to make different choices and hold different beliefs, and still like each other. It doesn’t mean we go along with something we disagree with in order to please or remain connected to another. Sometimes discernment requires us to withdraw from an activity, group or relationship.

How I will practice discernment today:

When I feel the hard edge of judgment in my body and hear it in my words and thoughts, I will STOP and softly bring my attention to my heart. I like to hold the image of one hand on my heart and one hand on the heart of  the other. From this place of compassion, I will seek to understand both of us and empower both of us to be in our truths, whatever that may be. I give myself permission to be changed/influenced by the other. I also give myself and the other permission to decide to back away or disengage if that serves Truth. If I decide to disengage, I will do it with lovingkindness and not harshness.

See with the Eyes of your Soul

This post is part 2 of my inspiring phone call with my friend, Debs. We were talking about seeing life and others through the eyes of our souls, rather than through the ego-mind’s filter of judgment.

What does it mean to see with the eyes of your Soul or Spirit?

For me, this means that I rise out of my lower, ego-mind perspective and into the higher perspective of my Soul or Spirit or Witness. We all have different words for this part of us that is connected to God/Source/Spirit (we all have different words for that too). I personally like Spirit, and at times, Witness. So, the idea is to see a situation not from the narrow and often self-serving perspective of Rhonda Ashurst, but from the higher perspective of my Spirit.

Questions that help me get there:

“What is in the highest good for all Beings, including myself?”

“What do I need to be aware of in this moment?”

“How do I see this through the eyes of Compassion?”

Situations in which I use the questions:

  • Meeting new people and discerning why they have come across my path and what is the highest response I can make to them. (Sometimes this leads to engagement with them and sometimes it leads to avoidance or choosing not to respond.)
  • Considering the next action to take. Stay or go? Pray or do something? Email or read? Connect or disconnect? Exercise or rest? Eat/drink this or don’t? Say something or listen? And lately, ice or heat? 🙂
  • Choosing what response to make, including which words to use, or none at all.
  • How I will frame my attitude about a challenge that has appeared in my path.
  • Well, and the list goes on and is endless, but you get the idea.

How I will practice seeing with the eyes of my soul today:

As I move through my day, I will be mindful of the decisions/judgments I am making and I will lift up my perspective into my Spirit/Witness to do what is in the highest good for all to the best of my ability. I will remind myself to be compassionate with myself and others and my precious body.

6.5 Weeks

I made it to my 6-week anniversary this week and that is when all my restrictions were lifted-yay! This means the implant should be set in my bone (secure) and I can play with my yoga poses, and get into the hot springs and pool again.

I discovered I can sit in my meditation pose again, which was really cool! Here I am in my spot in front of the gas stove. This is where I have my morning coffee and meditate. Theo is happy to have me back at his level again, mostly so I can pet him.

I continued to work on strengthening my gluteus medius muscle to help me walk without a limp and do stairs. The PT’s gave me more ideas, I tried them all, probably shouldn’t have. Set myself back again, but not as far this week as last week. Now, I’m backing off again and accepting where I am. I can only do so much before my hip muscles fatigue and then it goes straight into the side of my leg and knee, and it hurts. There are some things I just can’t do, like stand on my leg for very long (though this is getting better) or climb stairs.

I think I had this picture in my mind that at 6 weeks I’d be able to walk without a limp or pain. And I can’t. And I’m bummed and frustrated. But, I also realize this is not unusual and I’m being impatient and unreasonable.

I did just walk around the block with out a cane, though! Granted it was slow and the limp was pretty bad, but I did it and it didn’t hurt as badly as it has before. I just need to keep at it, slowly and gently. Why is that so hard?

I did have Scott take another video of me walking, as promised last week. I can’t load videos directly into the blog, so I’ve loaded them on my Google Photos site in an album titled Rhonda’s Hip Adventure Videos. I put all of them in from the beginning, in order. If you are wondering which one you are looking at, click on the little “i” in the circle (for information) and it will tell you. Here’s the link: Rhonda’s Hip Adventure Videos.

Looking back on the week, I’d say it was about accepting where I am without judging where I think I should be (see my entry on that in Enlightening Practices). That doesn’t mean I don’t keep focused on my dream of walking pain-free without a limp. It means I hold that intention, I do the exercises I can to the point of the muscles fatiguing, keep walking and trying new things, and let go of when and how the outcome happens. Well, that’s the idea anyhow… The execution comes in fits and starts–I have a fit, then I start over! But I’m getting there.

Next week I see my surgeon again for the first time since I was in the hospital and I have my last two PT sessions. So, tune in next week and I’ll let you know how it goes…

 

Free yourself from the prison of judgment

This is my first post in a new theme (Enlightening Practices) inspired by my dear friend, Debs. It was part of a long conversation we had last night and she encouraged me to share it here. Thank you my sweet soul sister for our many years of friendship! This is dedicated to you, a person who faces a multitude of daily challenges with humor, perseverance, playfulness, courage and a wild sense of adventure! Drop the judgment and you will be free.

One of the things I have learned both through 25 years of meditation and many wise spiritual writings and teachers, is that we are very judgmental. Our minds continuously label, judge, analyze, compare. They can become tyrants that literally run our lives with their litany of “shoulding.” They literally imprison us within a jail of judgment–our own and our projections onto ourselves of others’ judgments. “You should be more like him/her.”  “You shouldn’t have said/done that.” “You should be stronger, smarter, thinner, richer, sexier, more at peace, blah, blah, blah…”

Under the “shoulding” is judgment that says we are lacking, that we’d be better if we were someone other than who we are, if we were somewhere else, if we were doing something else with someone else. Then we do it to others, especially the people we love.  And, we allow them to do it to us. You know, we have the power to stop this insanity!

We are rarely here, now, in this moment, simply enjoying it and being grateful. That’s why we call these “peak” moments. They are usually the stuff of our fondest memories when we are lost in the beautiful flow of life and forget to judge. In these moments, we know it is all perfect, and we are free.

And then we forget again.

So, this is the enlightening practice:  

Try living this day (or as much of it as you can, hey, a minute is a good start) without judging anything that occurs. Accept whatever comes across your path. Be curious about it. How did this end up in my day? What is the best way for me to embrace this? Remember that what we resist persists, what we reject with judgment keeps showing up. Sometimes, what seems like a bad thing turns out to be good, and what seems like a good thing turns out to be bad.

What I personally am going to work on today:

I am judging my walk. I still walk with a limp and it hurts and I’m frustrated. I expected it to be better by the 6-week mark. But I’m about where I was pre-surgery. I have been fighting this by pushing myself aggressively to strengthen weak gluteal muscles, so I can walk normally and without pain. Ironically, I’m causing myself more pain and setting myself back. So, today, I will embrace my walk just as it is and be thankful I can walk at all. I will be thankful I can walk without a walker or a cane. I will be thankful for all the amazing things my body can do 6 weeks after a hip replacement. I will be kind and gentle, while I’m helping my body grow stronger. Today, I will rest and I will cultivate peace and gratitude for exactly where I am in my healing process. And every time I “should” on myself, I will stop, breathe and remind myself of this practice. I will also be mindful of my tendency to judge others, and will send blessings for whatever is in their highest good instead.

5.5 Weeks

It’s been an interesting week. I continue to have challenges standing on my right leg and I still limp when I walk, though it is better than it was last week. I expressed my frustration to my Physical Therapist and we added new strengthening exercises, which I probably overdid (no I would NEVER do that, would I?). This led to a sharp pain in the side of my right leg, which made my problem worse, especially the motion of stepping up (stairs, for example).

So, I decided to try something novel and accept where I was at and stop pushing. Well, it wasn’t actually that rational. What really happened is I tried stepping up stairs until I was in utter agony, at which point, I collapsed and cried for awhile. My thoughts went something like this: I’ll never be able to walk normally again. I’m in the same place I was before the surgery and everything I tried then only made it worse, just like now. I am a master of catastrophizing.

In the midst of my tears and despair, a calm voice within that I’ve come to call my Witness, suggested that I STOP. Breathe and let go, let it be, stop pushing, do what you can that doesn’t hurt. 

Since then, I’ve made the fun discovery that I am way more flexible this week and can do yoga poses that I’m technically not supposed to be doing, like standing forward bends and touching the floor.

I can do more Tai Chi than I’ve been able to do, but I can’t push any repetitive motion that involves bending the right knee and putting weight on it. I am not using the cane as much and walking around the block is easier, though I do bring the cane along for support. I’m not lurching to the right side as badly as I was before. (I’ll try to figure out how to add video to this blog next week, so you can see how I’m moving after the critical 6-week mark.)

My other exciting news is that now that I can touch my toes again, I was able to trim my gnarly toenails and shave my furry legs. Yay! The things we take for granted…

This week, I was able to return to my wonderful massage therapist, Stephanie. I had been massaging vitamin E oil into the incision and rubbing the muscles with salve twice a day since about 3.5 weeks. I told her to try working on the scar tissue and see what she could do. She was able to go deeper than she’d expected and I felt a release afterwards in a ball of tissue I’d been feeling under the incision that was affecting my muscles. The incision site and the muscles underneath are less tender to the touch. So, I was able to sleep on my right side this week for the first time! (This is exciting for me–a side sleeper.)

Today, the muscles on the side of my leg are less sore and I can spend more time on my right leg without pain. I even made it through the 24-posture, short form, Yang-style Tai Chi sequence this morning, with a lot of modifications. I’m sure you have seen 80 and 90-year-old people do this traditional sequence on some video or another over the years–I look a lot like them, but I can do it!

I’m encouraged on this end of the week with my recovery process. I am just having lessons in patience and surrender to my own unique healing path.

Moral of this week: Accept where you really are and go from there. Don’t push to be somewhere you are not.

Fun Story of the week: On Sunday afternoon, I walked in the Arboretum in the park behind our house. The fall colors were still beautiful and it was in the 70’s. Families were out enjoying the day and taking pictures. I saw a family playing in the leaves under a large tree. As I approached, the little boy started running towards me, “Nana!  Nana!” His mother said, “Honey, that isn’t your Grandma.” I bet she walks with a cane too. Later it struck me that it was the first public acknowledgment of my entrance into the Elder stage of my life, and who better to notice than a little tyke!

——————————————————————————————————————————————I am very excited to have finally figured out how to create this blog. (I actually started this blog this weekend, but will back fill it with previous events, so the timeline makes sense to new readers.) This is my first whole blog entry! It is amazing how far the blogging/website design software has come since I did my last one 10-20 years ago. I have lots to learn, but at least I’ve begun. For those of you who began with me emailing updates, I’ll add an archive of those as previous posts when I have time. Then, if you missed anything, it will be here.

Email Update #9 – Day 33

Dearly Beloved,

It’s the end of a busy, back-in-the-world kind of week and I must say it’s good to be back! Went to two awesome theater performances this week: Piaf and Beautiful (the Carole King story). Both were wonderful and the singers they chose to play the parts were spot on and had amazing voices and stage presences. I was happy to be able to sit through them and actually took the stairs out of Beautiful on Wednesday!

Yesterday, our neighbors, Bill and Marybeth King hosted the annual Oktoberfest party and we had over 30 people come to share good food, beer, wine and conversation. It was a wonderful gathering. Big thanks to the Kings for hosting so we could have this special event this year! Thanks to all of you who were present for being there and your tasty contributions. We missed those of you who couldn’t make it, but you know, there is always next year!

It felt like a “coming out” party for my hip. Everyone was curious about how I was doing. It was so great to hear everyone say they were surprised by how well I was doing at 4 ½ weeks after surgery. Especially because this week has been one of my hardest. My progress on my walk slowed considerably and I am still using a cane and limping due to a lack of strength in my gluteal muscles on my right side. I’m working hard to strengthen them, but it is slow and painful. I also know that it is getting better, just in slower increments and this is pushing my impatience buttons! I also think that I’m subconsciously afraid of hitting a wall like I have in the past. I remind myself that this is new territory and to just keep patiently and steadily doing my rehab exercises.

I did see some improvement in my flexibility that was encouraging, like I can now touch my toes again both when standing and sitting! Next week I should be able to trim my gnarly toenails-yay! (The simple joys of life I used to take for granted.) Maybe I’ll get really crazy and shave my legs…

I didn’t get my website/blog set up, but maybe by next week.

I hope this finds all of you well and enjoying a great weekend.

Love to you all!

Rhonda

Update #8 – Day 26

Dearly Beloved,

Wow, has a lot changed this week! I hope all of you had a wonderful week. Here the colors continue to change and the leaves are falling more rapidly. Scott harvested the last of the tomatoes and the plants are withering with frost now. Old man winter is knocking on the door.

My hip is improving daily now, which is really exciting! I seem to require less and less down time to recover and can stand and walk and exercise for longer periods. They really pushed me in PT this week and my therapist said it was time for me to start testing some limits and see what my body could do. So, I did…

I figured out how to get back on my yoga mat on the floor and do part of my salutation sequence! I am so unbelievably excited by this! I didn’t think I’d be able to do this until the 6-week mark, but I did it on my 3-week anniversary! I included a video my friend Marta took when she first saw me do it. It’s the one with me on the yoga mat. I’m also walking more and more without a cane and my walk improves continuously now. I included a video Scott took yesterday, after the yoga mat video. I can put more weight on the leg, but I can only hold it about 1-2 seconds. I’m still working on strengthening it. I’m happy to say I made it all the way around the block a couple of days ago! A feat I have not managed in a couple of months.

Rhonda’s Hip Adventure Videos  You can always click on the “i” in the circle to find out what a video is about and when it was taken.

I’m also resuming my Qigong when I get up in the morning. Great way to loosen everything up and get moving. I’m going to try some easy Tai Chi this afternoon. Tai Chi is an awesome way to work with weight shifting and balance without too much strain.

I had my first outing—dinner at Scott’s dad’s place with my mom and Scott and Jim’s old neighbor, Kitty. It was great to get out and be able to sit through a whole meal!

Tonight, we are going to see an Edith Piaf performance at the theater downtown. I’m really looking forward to it. It will be the first time I experience the elevator.

I tested out driving around the block yesterday and it was a cinch, so I’m back in the saddle again and Scott is done “Driving Miss Daisy” on her Princess Pillow. Thank you, Scott for all your patient chauffeuring and errand running these last few weeks!

The pain is now minimal and I’m only taking a couple of ibuprofen at bedtime and a Benadryl. Sleep is much better and more restful.

Oh, other big exciting event of the week was being able to put on socks and underwear without having to use tongs or my grabber tool! The flexibility in my hip is greatly improved and that makes life so much easier.

It feels like I am rejoining life and the world now after a more reclusive, introspective time. I’m happy to be back! I look forward to connecting with each of you when the time is right.

As part of my rejoining the world, I’ve decided to reinvent rhondaashurst.com. I’d like to use it as a blogging platform, and also a repository of my writing and favorite resources. I was inspired by the many bloggers who helped me with their stories about their own hip surgeries and recovery. I’d like to add to the growing database out there by posting my own Hip Adventures. But, I also have a lot of other topics I’d like to explore and this feels like a good way to do it.

I’m hopeful I’ll be able to get it up and running within the next couple of weeks and then I’ll shift my updates to that platform and email out a link to all of you. I think it is amazing what we can do on the Internet! It is a great way to share information and learn about how others have come through similar challenges. Like my dear friend Mary says, “When we tell each other our stories, we help each other heal.”

So, I don’t know if I will be sending out another group email update. We will see how it goes.

I want to express my gratitude to my amazing partner, Scott, who has attended lovingly to my every need with patience, steadiness, and lots of positive energy. I could never have done this without you and I am continually amazed by you. Thank you for loving me and for teaching me to be a better person, every day.

Thanks also to all of you who have held me in your thoughts and prayers, sent me your good wishes and gifted me sweet comforts, delicious food and beautiful flowers along the way. You are the treasures of my life.

Special thanks to my mom, who provided so many delicious meals these last few weeks!

My blessings to you all!

With much love and a big hug,

Rhonda

 

Update # 7 – Day 19

Dearly Beloved,

Happy Sunday to all of you! Hope you are having a fun and relaxing day. I am chilling out after doing too much yesterday… Still trying to figure out balance of rest and activity, which is a challenge, because it seems to change by leaps and bounds now.

Something major shifted on Day 15 (Wednesday). The best way I can describe it is that my body stopped fighting the implant and began to embrace it. My muscles began to release and the pain levels decreased significantly. It was like my body said, “Wow! There’s a super strong hip here! Let’s see what we can do with it!” Since then, I get stronger and stronger each day. I walk around often without the cane, picking it up when I get fatigued or my form falls apart. (I will get some video footage for the next update of my walk.)

At physical therapy this week, I had the therapist show me how to get on my hands and knees and stomach so I could do more of my yoga. That felt soooo good! I also started walking more—did a whole block and a half yesterday. I’m trying to find the right mix, day-by-day, of exercise, stretching, standing, sitting, reclining, resting. Some days I do better than others.

The pain has been much better since Day 15. Since then I’ve been using about 5 ibuprofen every 24 hours, a glass of wine at night, and Benadryl to sleep. If I have a rough night, I take a Valium. This works great. I also have a magical marijuana salve that does wonders for all my sore muscles and feels great. I love that stuff, because it has no side effects and is great for my skin too (also smells nice). It takes effect instantly and lasts for a few hours.

The exciting part of the week, was my post-op appointment on Friday where I had my bandage removed and got to see the incision for the first time. It is 6 inches long and all the stitches are dissolvable. The bandage stayed on since the surgery and it pulled off so much more easily than I’d expected. I was told not to touch it until the one month mark, or put anything on it, except to protect it if necessary. I can shower normally and just let the soap and water run over it, but don’t scrub it. Yay! No more Glad Press n’ Sealing my butt before showers!

They also took more xrays (below). Just for fun, I also included the before xray. The surgeon’s assistant showed me that they got my leg length spot on! (Bottom of the pelvis now lines up evenly.) He also showed me where the cinch (knot) is in the zip-tie (wire) around my femur. It is in the front and off to the side of my thigh. Neither one of us could feel it, which is good and I hope it stays that way. It would require another surgery to remove it. Like he said, “You don’t want to do that unless it is REALLY bothering you.”

                July 6, 2017                                 October 6, 2017

He also explained that they had wanted to go deeper into my pelvis so they could get more coverage over the cup and get that second screw (one on the outside) deeper into my pelvis, but my pelvis was so thin, they were afraid they would punch through the back wall, so they stopped. I think they did an amazing job, considering the narrow margins they had to work with!

He encouraged me to lose the cane as soon as I can and said they will see me in a month. Then I should be cleared to do most things (or at least begin trying). I have two more weeks of physical therapy. Hopefully after that, I can drive.

Life is beginning to normalize slowly and I feel so much better and more inspired than I did as of my last update. The hip doesn’t feel so strange anymore. Scott is happy to have more help around the house and in the kitchen, even if I sometimes suddenly announce that I have to go sit down in the middle of something… Now shorter rests will quickly get me back on my feet again.

So, it’s up and out from here!!

The weather is beautiful and all the trees are changing. Here’s a picture of the view out the living room window, where I spend a lot of time.

Fun observation of last few days: It appears that I am also going through the final stages of peri-menopause alongside my hip adventure. Fortunately, that doesn’t seem to involve a lot of unpleasant symptoms for me, except the occasional mild hot flash. The upside of doing these two things simultaneously is 1) you get it all over with at once and 2) there’s always an ice pack around when you have a hot flash!

On that note, enjoy your Sunday evening. Know I love you and am thinking about you. I’m starting to find the energy and time to respond individually, so will probably move to weekly updates now. Looking forward to connecting with each of you when the time is right. I am so thankful for your presence in my life, know that I love you.

Blessings,

Rhonda