I wrote this blog for Reno Friends Meeting for January and decided I wanted to share it with you too. Wishing you all a happy, healthy, peaceful and Light-filled year ahead.
This is the time when sunlight returns to our winter world
and a new year begins. 2020 has been a year of retreat for many of us, clouded
by uncertainty and anxiety. We spent more time with ourselves than usual. I
have seen this year as an opportunity to go the “mountain”, to use a metaphor
common to many spiritual traditions. There has been less outward activity and
more inward reflection. But now the energy is shifting, and the time is coming
to re-engage with the “marketplace”—to bring our inner Light into the world.
I am fond of spiritual metaphors like the ox-herding
pictures used in Zen Buddhism to teach about the spiritual path. The seeker
wanders a path up the mountain looking for the wild ox, then finds and tames
it, rides it back down, comes home and enters the marketplace, bringing spiritual
wisdom and helping hands to the community. The ox is a metaphor for taming the
unruly aspects of ourselves, including our overactive egos and minds. Other
similar metaphors include Moses bringing the ten commandments down from the
mountain as instructed by God, Jesus spending 40 days in the desert before
giving the Sermon on the Mount, the wandering of the Jews in the desert before
coming to the Promised Land, and the vision quests of native peoples. In modern
times, we go on retreats, withdrawing from our normal lives and taking time for
spiritual reading and inner reflection. We hope to come back wiser, more
peaceful and compassionate.
What I usually find is that it is easy for me to be peaceful
and compassionate while on retreat; it’s when I return to the world that I have
trouble! So, I’ve been reflecting on how this lofty idea might be made more
accessible to us everyday folks. My experiment this last year has been to
incorporate Retreat Days into my schedule. Sadly, I’m here to report that I was
unable to retreat for a whole day despite the best of intentions. I did have
success in unplugging from news, but not from life.
Then I started wondering if there might be a more practical
way to do this ox-taming business, must be the Quaker in me… My new experiment
is taking mini retreats and then re-engaging with the world throughout the day,
seeking to bring Light and the Quaker testimonies into the world. I’m finding
this approach works much better and is more realistic given the nature of my
life. My hope is that over time I will be able to maintain centered-down peace
while I’m engaged with the world.
Here are some of my mini retreats:
Silent Worship whether in community or
alone—taking 30-60 minutes to sit quietly and listen for that still, small
voice within.
Sitting in easy repose and staring out the
window for a few minutes, turning off my brain.
Going on a walk or taking a swim and making it a
moving meditation, where I focus on the movement and get out of my head.
Doing Qigong, Tai Chi and/or yoga practice with
mindful focus. It helps to do this in a room set aside for this purpose or
outdoors. If I’m near my desk or the kitchen, I can get endlessly distracted!
It also helps to do just one pose or form if I’ve lost my center or need a
break.
Taking several deep, belly breaths.
Driving in silence.
Petting the cat.
Breathing and repeating a mantra while waiting.
Observing nature and letting myself become
absorbed into it.
Meditating using a mantra or following my breath.
Reading a spiritual book.
Here are some of the ways I try to bring Light into the
world:
Smile.
Listen with total presence, seeking to
understand.
Speak the truth from my heart, with compassion.
Be thoughtful in my actions and words.
Do random acts of kindness.
Practice peace, even when I disagree.
Seek unity; there’s usually some common ground
somewhere.
Be patient.
Love my neighbor without exceptions.
Live simply and in harmony with nature and those
around me.
Be a good steward.
Share generously.
Shine my Light, encouraging others as my equals,
to shine theirs.
Have faith and trust in the good in myself and
others, and Life itself.
Stand in my integrity with humble courage.
Be open-minded and non-judgmental.
Like any human, I stumble a lot, miss the mark, make
mistakes, get distracted. Then I get back on that ox and try again. I’ve come
to the conclusion that this is an ongoing experiment without end. I find that
comforting. Oh, and it helps not to take oneself too seriously and have a good
sense of humor!
Queries:
What are your ways to retreat from the world and reconnect
with the Light?
How do you bring Light into the world?
What distracts you from your highest intentions? Disturbs
your peace?
We were so blessed to be able to have both my mom and Scott’s dad with us for Christmas dinner. We followed the same protocols as Thanksgiving and had a safe and special evening together filled with love, seafood, champagne, cookies and eggnog! Here’s some of the highlights:
Jim cracking crab legs for our appetizerMom and I toasting with champagneMom and Jim enjoying crab Louie salads, lobster tails and sourdough breadScott getting ready to dig in!Sarah, our neighbor, brought us a freshly made loaf of her amazing herbed sourdough!Jim enjoying his martini and crab LouieRetiring to the living room for presents and dessert by the treeOur parents opening their giftsTalking to Aunt Nora and Uncle Harry on FaceTime This was only the second Christmas in their lives my aunt and mom were not together.Scott’s delicious cookies and Bruce’s (our neighbor) potent eggnog–a nice combo!Theo and the lovely Christmas Amaryllis the morning after Christmas
We are grateful that we were able to make this special memory together to mark the end of this crazy year. So far everyone is staying healthy in our family and we pray for that to continue as we do our best to stay connected and protected. We hope you were able to celebrate Christmas in your own meaningful ways. We pray for those who have suffered loss and illness during this pandemic and that it will soon be behind us.
When we began this fateful year, a rainbow appeared on January 1st over our house:
On November 18, another rainbow appeared:
I take this as a good omen that the storm is about to pass and the Light will return soon. In the meantime, take good care and stay connected and protected.
It is now two weeks after Thanksgiving and none of us have COVID, so I figured it was safe to do an update! We had a wonderful day cooking, visiting and doing our COVID safety dance around the kitchen and dining room. Jimmy showed Scott all the tricks for making his outstanding grilled turkey. It was truly amazing! He also brought his homemade ceviche and porcini spread over crostini for us to nosh on while we worked. We nipped on champagne and caught up with each other, wearing masks except when we were seated 6 feet apart eating. I made mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. Scott made his mother’s stuffing. Mom made a crustless pumpkin pie and Terri made pecan bars, which we topped with cream Scott whipped up in his KitchenAid.
It was a delicious meal! We so enjoyed being together that wearing masks was well worth the minor inconvenience. We ran the Medify air purifier and kept the windows cracked, using electric heaters to keep our parents warm.
Here’s some photos of the day:
Jimmy preps the turkey for the grillScott assistsLook at that beautiful bird!Big Jim watches Jimmy do his kitchen magicMom sips wine while watching us cookJimmy carves the turkeyMashed potatoes and gravy on the stoveDinner is served!
I can’t believe I forgot to take dessert pictures! Sorry about that.
Looking back, it was an awesome day and I’m happy we decided to go ahead with our plan to be together while practicing our COVID protocols. As long as we all remain healthy and it is allowed, we plan to have Christmas dinner with Scott and I and both our parents. The menu plan so far: deep fried artichoke appetizers with champagne, crab louies with fresh dungeness crab, broiled lobster tails, and our neighbor’s homemade herbed sourdough. We will finish up with Scott’s Christmas cookie platter. I can’t wait!
Stay tuned for an update in January. In the meantime, take good care, be safe and stay connected to those you love. Wishing you a Happy Christmas and a Peaceful, Healthy, Happy New Year! (I don’t think any of us will be sad to see this one go.)
I find myself thinking about how to do this a lot lately, as I watch the COVID-19 cases climb in my community, the country and the world. I recall the epidemiologists saying that the worst wave would come during the fall and winter months and that we needed to be prepared for that. Most of us are tired of the pandemic and yearning to get back to the way things were. It’s tempting to throw caution to the wind and have holiday gatherings. We always feel safer with those we love, so this virus is particularly insidious because that’s our biggest vulnerability right now. Especially with colder weather and most of us gathering indoors.
So what do we do? There are lots of options, and like most things in life, they exist on a continuum of risk. We all have to decide where we are on the continuum as we make our holiday plans. I thought it would be interesting to blog on the subject, share my own ideas and invite you to share yours as comments.
Of course, the safest thing is don’t gather. Stay home with your immediate family members. Use technology to connect with loved ones, like Zoom (lifting its 40 minute limit for Thanksgiving), FaceTime, Google, Skype, WhatsApp or just a phone in speaker mode. I know some folks who are cooking the same things and then eating together remotely. Some are dropping off favorite dishes, safely prepared at the door–a kind of remote potluck.
Scott and I often have dinner with his father, Jim using FaceTime on an iPad
The next safest thing is eating outdoors if weather permits. You can use outdoor heaters, blankets, warm weather clothing. I understand the Norwegians say that, “There is no bad weather, only bad clothing.” Be careful about sharing dishes and utensils. It’s best to have a designated server who is masked and has sanitized hands. Alternatively, you can have everyone bring their own everything if you want to be real safe.
We spent much of the summer and early fall months doing this in our outdoor living room area, keeping households 6 feet apart and often bringing all our own food, drinks, plates, utensils. We did prepare food for others sometimes and bring it out on plates. I confess sometimes we goofed and passed around condiments or other items we shouldn’t have. Later we would realize we had made a mistake. It has been a learning process.
Our outdoor seating area with social distancingA fall gathering with friends out on the lawn–chasing the sun!
Then there are the decisions about who we spend time with indoors, which is the riskiest environment. We have always treated my mom, who is 85, as one of our household because she depends on us for essential care and also for company (she lives alone). We talked with her about the risks, even though we are careful. She decided she would rather take the risk and be able to spend time with us without masks and social distancing. This is similar to many people’s decision to socialize in pods. Our neighbors have a pod of three couples who are very close friends and have regular dinner parties with each other, but limit their contact with others outside their group.
Our neighbor’s pod at their Halloween party (used with permission and a promise to share part of my earnings off this very lucrative blog 🙂)
Recently, it has become too cold to gather outside and we know it will be impossible to do Thanksgiving and Christmas with our parents outdoors. Scott’s 95-year-old father lives in a senior, independent living community and prior to October was not able to come out for meals with us. Since March, we have been doing happy hour or dinner with him daily on FaceTime. In October we were able to take him to an outdoor lunch in Truckee with my aunt and uncle, making sure we all wore masks in the car. In November we brought him to our house for Veteran’s Day (he is a WWII and Korea vet). Again, we discussed with him the risks and like my mother, he decided it was worth it to him to take the risk.
Socially distanced Veteran’s Day dinner with our parents Scott, myself and Anita are 6 feet from Jim at our large dining room table
Now we are preparing for Thanksgiving next week. It has been a tradition for Scott’s oldest brother and his lady to host. They really want to celebrate Thanksgiving with Jim and us, and Jim would like this too. Again, we all discussed the increased risk in having another household join in and how we might handle it as safely as possible. We agreed that we will all wear masks when moving around the house (like a restaurant’s protocol). Scott and I will handle the food prep and serving using COVID hand cleaning protocols and wearing masks. Jimmy and Scott will grill the turkey outside. Here’s how we plan to set up the house:
The dining room table will be set up similar to Veteran’s Day dinner with Jimmy and Terri on one end and Jim on the other. Mom, Scott and I will sit at the kitchen table, 6 feet away.This Medify HEPA-13 filtration system (model MA-40) will be on the kitchen counter cleaning the air continually in the kitchen/dining room area. It is the one used by our dentist.We will crack the window in the dining room and use this Eden Pure heater (black box) to keep everyone warm and circulate air.In the living room (opposite from the dining room window), we will crack this window to add cross-ventilation.
Scott and I have agreed that this is the maximum number of people and households we are ok with hosting using these protocols. It will allow Jim to see his children and have a meal with them in smaller groups.
Christmas is usually a large, family affair with 25+ people in attendance. Gatherings like this are very risky and we’ve all agreed not worth it. So we will celebrate Christmas with just us and our parents, set up similar to Veteran’s Day. Maybe we will plan FaceTime calls with other family members so we can share with them remotely.
This is a year unlike any we’ve experienced before. But it is a unique opportunity to get creative and find new ways of connecting while staying protected. It looks like we will have a vaccine soon. Hopefully, enough of us will be vaccinated that we can have a more normal holiday season next year. For now, it’s up to us all to make the best choices we can to slow the spread of the virus and save lives.
Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving and a Blessed Christmas!
I wrote this blog for Reno Friends (http://www.renofriends.org) and was inspired to share it on my own site.
…And
yet we could hurt no man that we believe loves us. Let us then try what Love
will do: for if men did once see we love them, we should soon find they would
not harm us… William Penn, 1693
Back in May, when the Black Lives Matter protests were beginning after George Floyd’s death, Reno Friends had an opportunity to love our neighbors. Due to the pandemic, we were meeting outside in our garden, so we could be together yet keep our distance. We had sent a letter to our neighbors asking if they could bring in their dogs during our hour of Silent Worship.
On the Sunday after the protests in Reno’s downtown, we sat for peace and equality. As we were settling into our chairs, we noticed a number of people and dogs in our neighbor’s yard. Suddenly, loud, acid rock began playing out of a bedroom window facing the garden. I went over and let them know we were about to begin worship and asked if they could bring the dogs in and turn the music off. The grandmother told me that it was difficult to control the dogs. I understood in that moment that she had absolutely no control over the actions of the young men playing the music.
We decided to choose the path of peace and, leaving our garden, selected a tree out in the park where we had a lovely Silent Worship. We were joined by two squirrels, one ironically seeking sanctuary from a bully squirrel who was chasing him. The timid one hid under a lawn chair until he could race through the midst of us back to his burrow.
Shortly after that first Sunday, the Ministry and Oversight Committee decided to extend a gesture of neighborly friendliness and peace toward our neighbors, even though we were unhappy about the loud music that had disturbed our garden worship. We put together a gift bag for the family’s little boy, who is about three years old and loves to greet the USPS and UPS drivers. It contained a UPS truck and a satchel of small letters and packages designed by one of our members, as well as some construction vehicles the child would likely to see on the streets. We also made a goodie bag of cookies, espresso mix, and chocolate for the rest of the family.
I was planning to deliver our gifts, but circumstances kept delaying me. In the meantime, we continued to meet for worship in the garden on Sundays and noticed the neighbors were making their best efforts to keep their dogs indoors and that there was no more loud music.
About two weeks later, my not-so-still-small voice inside said, “Go buy some flowers and deliver it all, now.” I remember arguing that it was lunch time and I didn’t want to bother them. But the voice was relentless, so I went, picking up flowers on the way. I’m so glad I listened. It was a little after noon when I pulled up to the Meeting House and saw the grandmother out on the porch with the dogs.
I took the gifts to the gate and she came over. I introduced myself and said I was with the Quakers next door and we wanted to offer these gifts of neighborly friendliness and peace. She said we didn’t have to do that. She was trying her best to keep the dogs in and quiet, but she couldn’t always control her boys. She apologized for what had happened.
She went on to explain that it had been a very hard time recently for their family. Her mother had died two weeks earlier. They had a celebration of her life while she was still alive, as this had been her wish and several family members had come into town to be part of it. That was why there were so many people next door that Sunday after the demonstrations. I suddenly understood the tension I had felt when I’d gone over to talk with her.
I told her I was sorry for their loss and that we absolutely wanted them to have these gifts. I was even more glad I had come as I was led, and that I brought flowers. I expressed our gratitude for the efforts they had made the last two Sundays, which were very pleasant out in the garden. She told me she’d requested that her family respect our time in our garden, since it is only “one hour a week.” I asked her to let us know if they have a family gathering we need to work around, and we will find a tree in the park again.
We chatted for a bit (it was her lunch break, so the timing was perfect). I learned that her family lives with her and she is grateful for their company. She said she wanted to support our worship as she saw how much it had pained her mother not to be able to go to church at the end. She also told me she is a spiritual person, though she doesn’t attend church. I invited her to sit with us anytime she would like, even if it’s from her own porch. She smiled at this invitation, thanked us for our gifts and wished me a good day.
In July, we had a Zoom spiritual discussion on the subject of Loving Thy Neighbor (No Exceptions). There was rich and poignant sharing about the challenges of loving others without exception, particularly when we disagree or feel upset with each other. Friends shared these insights:
Sometimes it’s helpful to agree to disagree. We can stand in our own integrity and truth, while respecting the different position of the other person.
There is power in holding those with whom we disagree in the Light.
It is important to approach interactions with curiosity and compassion.
Before communicating when upset, it is prudent to deal with anger/fear in oneself first. Then we can be clearer when we reach out to the other person.
It helps to remember that we all struggle, and that we don’t know what another is experiencing.
Our experience with our neighbors and the spiritual discussion that followed brings to life something another Friend spoke about during Worship: Be kind to others; you never know what pain and hardship they may be going through. It is also a testimony to the current need and power of one of our own sayings: Love thy neighbors, especially those you might not choose as friends. It seems to me now is a time for us to live this testimony in our everyday interactions out in the world. The peaceful change we seek lies within us.
Yesterday was Independence Day. Upon reflection, I found myself wondering why we don’t celebrate Interdependence Day? The way I see it, we are all interdependent with each other, with all forms of life, with the planet itself. I wonder sometimes how this world might be if we honored our connection with all of life?
This morning I meditated on the strawberries I was eating for breakfast. I pictured the seeds being planted and nurtured by the grower, which is usually a whole group of people involved in planting, watering, weeding and harvesting. Many of these people come from other countries and endure hardships and low wages so we can eat strawberries. I am very grateful to them and I wish we treated them better. I reflected on nature itself–the sun, earth, water, and bees that grew the fruit. I thought about the folks who then crate and transport this delicious fruit to my grocery store. This led to thinking about all that goes into our transportation infrastructure and the vehicles and fuel it takes for this step. And then there is my local grocery store where people are currently facing personal risks as essential workers so I can buy the strawberries. I was filled with a feeling of gratitude and wonder as I considered all the life energies involved in the simple gift of strawberries on my breakfast table.
If you think about it, everything that sustains our life has a chain like this. We are not islands, independent unto ourselves. This point has become ever clearer to me since the pandemic began. We cannot lock ourselves in our homes and survive for long. Even our homes depend on a huge amount of infrastructure coming from multiple sources in order for us to survive: water, electricity, heat, sewer and trash services are all essential. How long can you stay at home before you have to go out and get supplies? Where do these supplies come from? All over the world.
Countries are also interdependent. We depend upon one another to share resources, to trade, to help each other and to protect the biosphere on which we all depend. The pandemic gives us an opportunity to learn from each other, to help one another, because it is happening to all of us.
Human life is fragile. It depends on a lot of scaffolding to hold it up. I am humbled by this realization. I cannot survive by myself. I am also heartened to think that we are all inter-connected and dependent upon one another and the entire natural world. All lives matter. We are part of something large and magnificent that holds us in its arms. By nature, we are social animals designed to live in groups and form bonds of love and caring. Unless something happens to damage it, our natural tendency is to reach out to one another with compassion if someone is hurting or in need. We have seen a lot of that in recent times, and well if I look back, in all times.
I have faith and hope in our love for each other, our love for nature and our beautiful planet. My hope is that love will melt the mirage of independence that keeps us isolated and we can celebrate our interdependence–the great dance of giving and receiving that is the truth of Life.
On Sunday night, June 7th, my tummy started feeling funny and my low back ached. The next morning I felt bloated and a little sore, but nothing major, so I carried on as usual. Tuesday I still wasn’t feeling right, but it wasn’t too bad until the evening when I felt fatigued and fuzzy-headed. That’s when I started to get concerned. What was going on with me?
I thought back on my week and realized I’d had my hair cut, eaten for the first time at a restaurant (outdoors), and eaten at someone’s home on their outdoor patio. While all of these environments had felt safe to me and were with known people in my life, something had clearly gone wrong. But what? If it were food poisoning, my usual experience with that is intense GI symptoms within the first 24 hours that pass within 48. It had been 4 days since my last meal away from home.
So I started researching on the Internet, and I learned something I didn’t know: GI symptoms are not unusual in COVID-19 patients and some patients only have GI symptoms. Ok, so that may explain the toilet paper run… Why was I completely unaware of this? But, I didn’t have a fever, so it couldn’t be the virus. Reading on, I found out that there is a subset of low-severity, GI-only patients who never get a fever. This was causing alarm in the gastroenterology community, because it meant 1) they could be exposed to the virus and not realize it 2) their patients could have COVID-19 and be spreading the virus unknowingly.
Ok, so I admit I got really anxious at this point and it didn’t help my poor tummy. By Wednesday morning, June 10, I was even more bloated and sore and I had no appetite, but still no fever. This was not getting better on its own and it was time for me to consult a doctor.
After breakfast, I clicked the link to Doctor on Demand from our insurance company’s website. I chose Dr. Judith Weiss from the list and scheduled an 11:00 appointment. A few minutes before I tested my laptop’s connection and shortly after 11:00, Dr. Weiss and I were talking. Amazing! I’d never done a virtual doctor appointment before and was fascinated at what an easy and effective way it is to see a physician. From my screening information, she knew my issues and asked me what I’d done over the last week. When I described eating food out of our home, she said she suspected a bacterial infection from the food. She had me palpitate my stomach while she watched intently, asking where it hurt and how it felt. She had me open my mouth so she could see my tongue. I was slightly dehydrated. She suggested I take probiotics (50-100 billion), GasX, Tums and fennel tea and give it a few days. If my symptoms got worse or I started running a fever, call her back. I felt relieved. She didn’t think I had COVID-19, but I could screen for a test and let the health department decide. She spent 20 minutes with me, which was more than I’ve seen of a doctor in years.
In the meantime, Scott had reached out to his sister who is a PA. She called us over lunch and said it did sound like something I ate, but she recommended I do the online screen for our local health department and see if they wanted to test me for COVID-19. She also added that I should eat a very bland diet until I felt better.
I started following all the recommendations that afternoon and I did the screen for Washoe County Health Department. Within an hour, they emailed me back. They wanted to test me and I should quarantine until I got the results back. I stared at the screen and soaked in the message, then scheduled a test. The earliest they could get me in was Friday morning and it would take 3-5 days to get results. I digested what this meant, it was time to cancel everything on my calendar for a week and explain why.
I started making calls and sending emails and texts with my head spinning and my heart beating double-time, while my tummy kept doing flip flops. I think it was hardest for my mom who is 85 and relies on Scott and I to do her shopping, errands and help around her home. We brainstormed about what we could do to get her help in the meantime, since Scott can’t go out either. Thankfully, we’d just stocked her up with groceries. But we also worried that if I had it, I’d exposed her. Other people I called to cancel appointments with, who had seen me recently, expressed concern too. I could suddenly see those pictures of how the virus spreads produced by epidemiologists, unfolding through my own contact list as I retraced two weeks of my steps. What should I do? In the end, I decided the chance I had coronavirus was low and I shouldn’t unnecessarily alarm people. I’m not sure that was the right decision, but it was the one I made.
Then Scott and I tried to figure out what we should do in our home. I knew I’d already exposed him, but we decided it was best to take precautions. I moved into the guest bedroom and bathroom, separated my eating area, washed my hands and masked when in the kitchen. We cleaned surfaces more often and used Lysol.
I think it was hardest to be separated from him. I longed to lay my head on his chest and feel his arms around me. It was strange to eat at another table and to have to navigate around each other in our own home. I felt for all the people out there who are also experiencing this right now. I wondered what it would be like if my symptoms got worse and he had to drop me at the hospital. What if I didn’t make it and we never saw each other again? I was overcome with compassion for all those who are having to do that around the world.
By Wednesday evening, I felt better. I think all the recommendations were helpful, especially the super-duper probiotic. On Thursday morning my mother called and said she’d been thinking about it and her digestive system hadn’t been right since we’d eaten together at someone’s house the week before. Her symptoms weren’t as severe as mine so she hadn’t thought it relevant until she reflected on it overnight. I was flooded by relief. I realized I couldn’t imagine that I’d gotten sick eating away from home, because no one I ate with was sick, except me. This had made the novel coronavirus a more likely cause than I ever would have considered normally. Maybe it was food poisoning after all! So I did some research on the CDC website and sure enough, some forms of bacteria in food can take longer than 24 hours to manifest symptoms and take longer to clear than 48 hours.
As the day went on, I continued to improve and by Friday morning (June 12) my belly was nearly normal. So, it seemed odd to get in the car and drive down to the County Fairgrounds where they were doing the testing and get in line. But, I knew it was what I needed to do for everyone as well as myself. I was shocked at the lines of cars entering the fairgrounds. The National Guard was directing traffic, checking that we had an appointment and then putting us in line to drive up to the testing tents. We were instructed to keep our windows closed at all times and everything was done by sign language and showing an ID out my window. It was surreal. I turned on my radio and listened to music to add some kind of normalcy to the experience.
I came to a place in line, where someone had a clipboard and showed me my lab sheet through the window. He pointed to my name and at me, looking at me with a question mark in his eyes. I nodded. He handed the clipboard to a driver in a golf cart who took me and another car towards the testing tents. As I approached the tent, this is what I saw:
Here’s the team who tested me:
One of the ladies in the hazmat suits came to the car and verified my name and birthdate. She asked me to ease my seat back and relax, it would smart a bit. Then she tickled my brain with a long swab! Well, it wasn’t quite that bad, but she did have to go a ways up into my sinus cavities (both sides) to get the sample. It made my eyes tear up and my nose smart, but it was quick and then it was over. I was shepherded out the exit and headed home. Overall, an impressively organized experience that took about 40 minutes from the time I pulled in. I’m guessing there were at least 100 other vehicles in line with me.
Then we waited. I admit we relaxed our precautions as my symptoms disappeared and I returned to our table and our bed. We were both sure that I didn’t have COVID-19. But, we did follow the instruction not to go out in public until we had the results. I must admit it was nice to have a break from the anxieties of re-entry that we’d both been experiencing. It’s actually harder trying to figure out what is ok to do and what isn’t than it is just staying home! I don’t think I realized how stressful that has been as everything re-opens while the number of active cases keep going up. Doesn’t make a lot of sense. On the other hand, we can’t all stay home forever either. What a dilemma!
During our quarantine, one of my friends sent me a great article that discusses candidly this dilemma. It is an interview with a top epidemiologist and the summary points are at the top. If you have the time, the whole interview is worth reading and the end summary talks about finding our Goldilocks Zone as we navigate our future living with this virus:
My time in quarantine has given me an opportunity to reflect on my own Goldilocks Zone. Where am I personally with what I feel safe doing right now? I’ve got my shopping routine down using a mask and disinfectant wipes and ordering more online. I’m ok with being outside with people, keeping our distance while walking together. I enjoy BYOBS (Bring Your Own Beverage and Snacks) get-togethers with friends and neighbors in our backyards or in local parks. I’m comfortable with our decision to view my mom as a member of our household and continue to help her at home and have meals with her. I think not doing this would be more detrimental to her health than the risk it poses if we are careful about what we do so as not to unnecessarily expose her. Having our housekeeper come as long as she is masked and we stay in rooms she isn’t cleaning, which is what we do anyway. Our planned trips to go to self-contained condos or cabins where they have strong cleaning protocols also feels safe. Though I plan to bring disinfectants and clean again upon arrival…
What do I not feel comfortable with at this time? My overall rule at this time is not to be in an enclosed environment within 6 feet of anyone except Scott and mom, without a mask on. So here are some specific examples of what I wouldn’t do at this time: Eat inside a restaurant (I will consider outside dining in a restaurant whose kitchen practices I trust, but probably not until our number of active cases go down significantly). Go to the gym or pool. Drive in a car with anyone except Scott or mom. Eat inside someone’s home or share food/serving utensils. Be in any crowded group setting. Travel in a plane, train or ship. I also don’t feel comfortable going anywhere further than a few hours drive from home, so I can get back to my mom if she needs me. We’ve cancelled all our summer camping trips with Pearl, as we don’t feel safe sharing public bathrooms.
On the sixth day after my test, we were wondering what had happened? Both my mom and Scott’s dad were running out of things and so were we. Neighbors and friends offered to make a shopping and delivery run for us. We heard that state lab was running behind in processing tests due to 1) the failure of a robot in the lab and 2) simultaneously being inundated with tests from residential care facilities and prisons on top of a high community testing load.
One week after my test, I checked on the quarantine protocols if I were positive. It turns out that you are to quarantine until 10 days after your symptoms began and 3 days after they stop. I was already out of the quarantine period even if I’d been positive! And, everyone I’d had contact with prior to my quarantine was already out of their quarantine period, except Scott and my mom! And then suddenly, later the same day, my results came in. I was negative.
What a strange experience it has been. I am lucky that I am retired and that we had just resupplied ourselves and our parents before this happened. If I’d been working, I would have missed a week and a half of work. If it takes this long to get results, what good is this in helping us prevent infections? If I had the virus and passed it along to any of my contacts, they had already been out passing it along to others for 11-14 days. We’ve got to do better than this if we are hoping testing and contact tracing can help slow the spread of Covid-19.
It’s been two years since I had my left hip replaced. It feels like it’s time for an update. Looking back on the last year, I was surprised by the continued improvements in strength, endurance, energy, balance and flexibility. I’d thought I’d see all my healing by the end of the first year. So, I wanted all of you to know that there can still be ongoing healing and changes for more than a year after a THR.
I can now hike 3-4 miles regularly with ease, without setbacks and increased soreness and stiffness afterwards. I’ve been able to hike regularly with Scott again (and keep up). I can do trails I haven’t done in years. My yoga poses, including one-legged balances, are back. My standing stamina has improved to the point where I no longer have to sit down to rest before finishing a task or conversation. My Tai Chi and Qigong flows naturally and easily and I am back to teaching again (check out Embodying the Light in the menu at the top of this blog). I have continued to swim, though I’m taking a break due to Covid-19 right now. Based on my experience during this break, I can tell I was swimming too much and not doing enough walking and yoga. When I return to the pool, I’ll keep it to 1-2 times a week for a better overall balance.
I used to have this odd shaky feeling of not trusting my legs under me. Now I feel more connected neurologically to my legs. I credit my work with an amazing physical therapist, Kimberly Prucha, for helping me with this. Kimberly does manual and craniosacral therapy which helps realign and rebalance the whole spinal column, neurological and nerve network, joints, ligaments, tendons and muscles. Her approach is unlike any I’ve experienced and the results were fast and long-lasting. After three 90-minute sessions, I felt like a new person. It was the final touch on my healing process. You can find out more about Kimberly at her site: http://biodynamicmt.com/kimberly-prucha/. She also gave me stretches and exercises which have helped me maintain the work she did. I so appreciate this approach which helps me help myself. Now I go back every few months for a tune-up, but otherwise I can maintain my own balance and strength. What a gift! Thank you Kimberly, you’re a blessing!
I thought you might like to see what scars look like at this point:
Left Hip 2 Years After Hip ReplacementRight Hip 2 Years, 8 Months After Hip Replacement 1 Year, 7 Months After Cerclage Cable Removal
The left hip was my easy one, so the scar is much smaller–about 4 inches. The right hip was my problem child and the surgeon had to go on a fishing expedition down my leg to retrieve the loosened cerclage cable during my last surgery (October, 2018). So that scar is longer–about 7 inches. Both have them have healed well. I did a lot of massage with vitamin E and avocado oil to lay down the scar tissue. My massage therapist, Stephanie Wilson (https://thehealingpointe.com/), also worked hard on reducing the scarring and restoring my functioning. Thank you Stephanie for your magic hands, which I so miss during this pandemic!
People sometimes ask me how I feel about my scars. I see them as a visible symbol of my journey from dysplasia to bionic buns that are strong and capable of carrying me easily through the rest of my life. They give me an opportunity to tell my story when people ask about them. I hope my experiences will be an inspiration to others who may be afraid of joint replacement surgery. It is truly a modern medical miracle that can restore your life, strength and vitality. I am so very grateful to be able to do everything I want to do with my body again!
On this Earth Day, I’m looking out at clearer skies and breathing fresher air. I can clearly see the mountains surrounding Reno. Everything looks brighter. We have done more for Mother Earth in a few weeks than we have done in the 30 years since I celebrated my first Earth Day. This gives me great hope.
Look what we have done! We have proven we can change our lives in a few weeks. We can collectively come together and make choices that sustain life. I have the strong sense that Mother Nature created this virus as an opportunity for us to STOP, to take a time out and notice what life can be like when we slow down. We are home–getting to know our families, our environment, ourselves. We are reducing pollution, carbon emissions, noise pollution and other destructive impacts on the natural world.
We have a chance now to sit back and observe what we have been doing. What still serves us and the world? What doesn’t? In what ways have we gotten off balance both internally and externally? How have our ways of living caused imbalances and what can we do to create a sustainable balance with all of life?
Mother Nature has much to teach us if we pay attention. For example, check out this amazing video on Biomimicry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf4oW8OtaPY. I love this quote from Janine (the narrator): Life creates conditions conducive to life. How can we create conditions that are conducive life?
I believe each of us has tremendous power to change, and collectively, we can exponentially change our world. We are doing so right now. Let’s not lose this momentum, this chance we have been given.
Mother Nature is in trouble. Our ways of living are choking her and harming our fellow creatures. I read a line in an article I can’t find now, but I resonated with it: “While we are all inside holding our breath, Mother Nature is breathing a deep sigh of relief.”
Here are some articles on what is happening out there:
You can search the Internet and find many more stories and examples as scientists and everyday folks like us notice the changes occurring all over the planet.
Please don’t go back to business as usual after this. Let’s take the chance we have been given to fundamentally change how we live. The very biosphere we and our fellow creatures depend on is in danger. We can do this. We already are.
Looking for some ways to help? Check out these sites:
Suddenly, we all have more time for reflection. Quakers are
familiar with taking time in silence for reflection, it’s what we do! Now we
are joined by legions around the globe. Schedules are falling away as we retreat
into our homes and living spaces. This strikes me as an opportunity to settle
deeply in with ourselves and ask what is truly important in my life? What do I
wish my life to stand for now?
As societies, we are questioning what is an essential
service? I am grateful to all the people who are continuing to provide essential
services so we can live. We are having to look at how we have structured our
lives, our businesses and organizations, our communities, our societies. We are
learning how inter-connected we all are with each other and all things.
My sense is our lives have been interrupted so we might
create a new life that is simpler, more balanced and more in harmony with
nature and others. My guess is that deep down, we have all known our old ways
could not go on.
I have always found the Quaker Testimony of Simplicity to
be helpful when I consider what is truly essential in my life.
SimplicityTestimony
(This is the seventh in a series of 12 monthly queries developed by Pacific Yearly Meeting. NOTE: All 12 monthly queries are on this website: http://www.renofriends.org/ under the All About Quakers tab in the main menu.)
Life is meant to be
lived from a Center, a divine Center . . . a life of unhurried peace and power.
It is simple. It is serene. It takes no time, but occupies all our
time. Thomas Kelly, A
Testament of Devotion, 1941
A life centered in God
will be directed toward keeping communication with God open and unencumbered.
Simplicity is best achieved through a right ordering of priorities, maintaining
humility of spirit, avoiding self-indulgence, resisting the accumulation of
unnecessary possessions, and avoiding over-busy lives.
Elise Boulding writes
in My Part in the Quaker Adventure, “Simplicity, beauty, and
happiness go together if they are a by-product of a concern for something more
important than ourselves.”
Do I center my life in
an awareness of God’s presence so that all things take their rightful place?
Do I live simply and
promote right sharing of the world’s bounty?
Do I keep my life
uncluttered with things and activities, avoiding commitments beyond my strength
and light?
How do I maintain
simplicity, moderation, and honesty in my speech, my manner of living, and my
daily work?
Do I recognize when I
have enough?
Is the life of the
Meeting so organized that it helps us to simplify our lives?
Friends, I’m holding us all
in the Light as we move through this challenging passage into new ways of being
with each other and in the world. We all have Light within us and gifts to give,
and we all need the gifts others have to share. May you shine your Light and
encourage others, as your equals, to shine theirs. May you receive with
gratitude and graciousness. May you take time to nourish yourself and your
family, to play, to exercise, and to rest.
Envision what can be possible, and then put feet and hands to it! Your
life is your example, your greatest testimony.
