My musings on suffering have continued since the last post and today I am contemplating my need to suffer. It works something like this: If others are suffering or the world is in trouble, I cannot be happy or at peace. I need to keep working on alleviating suffering.

When I consider this more carefully, I can see how crazy this way of thinking is. After all, one of my morning prayers is “May all beings be happy; may all beings be at peace.” There is not a corollary which says, “And in the meantime, suffer together.”

Another piece of this need to suffer is guilt. I feel guilty for having a good life which is relatively free of suffering. I feel guilty when I’m happy. Wow, that’s fascinating… I feel guilty when I’m happy and at peace.

So, what would my life be like if I could let go of the need to suffer, the guilt over being happy and at peace when others are not? I imagine I would be lighter, more serene, more present to others with an open, happy heart. How might that change my responses? I’m guessing I’d feed happiness, peace and hope more than the suffering. I know that what we resist persists, what we fight against, we make stronger. Isn’t working to alleviate suffering, actually getting me stuck in suffering–my own and others?

How might the world be different if we focused on that which opens our hearts, softens our clenching against pain, increases ours and others peace and joy? What if I made a commitment to being happy and peaceful, even if I or others have pain?

I might be more like my friend, Jane. She called me this morning and we talked for a long time. She deals with more pain than I can imagine, every day. Yet, she is determined to live each day with a positive attitude, creating as much joy as she can. She has an infectious laugh and a sense of humor about things most of us would be mortified over. I’ve come to realize it is how she avoids needless suffering over things she cannot control. She might have pain, but she doesn’t suffer. She will allow herself to grieve at times, but only for so long before she’s laughing about something funny her grandson did. Here’s to you Jane! You inspire me.